


Everything Is Blue

by KyloTrashForever



Series: True Colors [2]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Backseat Windows Up, Cassian is sad, F/M, Jyn’s Tiny Metal Secret, Like Red But Not Quite Side Story, Naughty Texting, Oral Sex, Over The Kitchen Table Smut, Phone Sex, Sexual Healing Is The Theme, She Calls Him Sour Patch, Subplot Reylo, Subplot Roux, Vaginal Sex, What Happens At The Bar, Who Hurt Cassian?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-21
Updated: 2018-12-01
Packaged: 2019-07-15 00:00:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16051271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: Jyn Erso has spent most of her adult life fighting for what she wants. She’s never had to depend on anyone but herself and she’s perfectly fine with that. But what if what she wants is doing their best to keep her at arms length? This is something she isn’t used to— and she loves a challenge.A Like Red But Not Quite sequel/side story!





	1. The Sweet Underneath

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Here is the first sequel/side story for Like Red But Not Quite! It will trace back through the events of the original story in Jyn/Cassian’s POV (no worries I will avoid overlapping scenes as much as possible because _boring _I know) and then extend a little further. ;) Enjoy!__  
>  Note: Each sequel/side story’s first chapter will begin the night after Kylo’s Pink cover concert, at the bar in their resort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * *

 

Jyn sat across from Cassian under the low lighting of the bar, twirling the amber liquid of her old-fashioned. He hadn’t said much since he had begrudgingly agreed to join them, and she was still trying to figure him out. He was so damned _sour_. She was almost certain if he ever smiled it would be the death of them all. 

“So tell me about her.” Jyn said evenly, taking a sip. 

He regarded her warily, one eyebrow raising slightly as he toyed with the edge of his own drink. “Excuse me?”

“Obviously a woman fucked you up, right?” She elaborated. “You have that... wounded look about you.”

He let out a sharp huff. “ _Mujer dificil_.”

Jyn grinned. “Now you know I can’t understand you when you do that.”

He gave her a look that said he was acutely aware of the fact. “It is just like a woman to assume that a woman is the root of my problems.”

She whistled low in sympathy. “Ouch. That bad huh? She must have been a doozy.”

He shook his head. “Are you always this...” he waved his hand in the air as if trying to find the right word. “Ferocious?”

Jyn smiled into the rim of her drink as she took another sip. “When it’s worth my time.”

Cassian’s eyes widened slightly, his mouth parting just barely before closing again. He took a drink instead, deciding not to respond. 

A hand slammed down on the top of the bar then, interrupting them. “Hey kids, what’s going on over here?”

Hux leaned over the wooden bar top, grinning wickedly as he took in the pair of them having a private conversation. 

“Cassian, I don’t think you’ve _ever_  come out with us after a show. What’s up with that? Decided you aren’t allergic to fun after all?” Hux laughed.

Rose sauntered up mid sentence, rolling her eyes. “Don’t listen to him,” she said pointedly, hitching a finger towards Hux. “He’s already kicked back three Heinekens and is working on his fourth.”

Hux snorted. “As if I didn’t see you pound back that second Cosmo? Don’t come over here judging me, tiny.”

“ _Don’t_ call me tiny.” Rose said roughly.

Hux rolled his eyes. “Well don’t _be_  tiny, then.” He said, somewhat slurred. “What are you, like five feet tall? You’re basically a hobbit.”

Jyn laughed at the pair of them, realizing they were both on their way to a nasty hangover in the morning. “Now children, don’t fight. I’ll be forced to put you in a corner somewhere.”

Cassian took in the boisterous scene, looking mildly uncomfortable. They had been in the bar for almost an hour now, and he’d barely touched his drink the entire time they’d been there. Never mind actually partaking in any of the festivities. She’d barely gotten a few sentences out of the man since they’d sat down. Oh, but how she’d wanted to. 

His lilting accent did funny things to her insides, not to mention the way his jaw moved as the words fell from it. Cassian didn’t talk like most men she knew, he was calm, quiet, and every word he chose to part with meant something. Jyn found herself incredibly attracted to it, and to him. If only she could get a decent read on him. 

“Alright you two, shoo now.” Jyn said with a wave of her hand. “Go to your own corner, you’re scaring my friend here.”

Hux and Rose were still in the trenches of their drunken argument, neither of them even knowing what it was about at this point. They gave her an offended look at having been shooed, but stalked off to another table, bickering the entire way. 

Jyn watched them go, smiling softly before turning back to Cassian. “They remind me of the kids on the playground that haven’t yet realized that their fighting is actually flirting.” 

Cassian nodded appreciatively, not responding.

They sat in silence for awhile longer, each refilling their drinks as they watched Rose and Hux’s antics from across the room, their loud conversations only growing in decibel as the night wore on. After at least another hour of throwing them back, Jyn was only slightly surprised to glance across the bar and see them attached at the mouth. 

“Called that one.” She said amusedly, pointing across the bar.

Cassian leaned to see what she was referring to, shaking his head once he saw. “I feel sorry for your friend.”

Jyn shrugged. “She’s a big girl. She knows what she’s doing.”

“They always think they do.” He said moodily, watching as Rose and Hux left the bar hand in hand. 

“You must have a lot of friends with that sparkling personality of yours.” Jyn teased. 

He snorted. “No one asked you to invite me.”

“I know.” She chuckled. “I just wanted to.”

“Can’t imagine why.” He said quietly. 

“Just trying to get at the sweet underneath, Sour Patch.” She grinned. 

He rolled his eyes. “Is that ridiculous nickname going to become a habit every time I see you?”

She tapped a finger to her chin as if in deep thought. “That’s highly likely,” she raised her finger as if a thought occurred to her. “Ah, but does that mean you do plan to see me again?”

He frowned slightly. “I only meant... I mean, Kylo is obviously enamored with your friend. I’m sure this won’t be the last I see of you.”

“So is that how you’re going to play it  then?” She said, sighing. “I’m all about the long game, but you didn’t seem like the type to pussyfoot around.”

“ _Perdon_?” He asked in his native tongue, taken aback by her boldness. 

Jyn shook her head, telling him wordlessly to try again. He sighed, rubbing between his eyes with his fingers one exasperation. 

“What do you mean?” He said again, putting his glass to his lips.

Jyn shrugged, leaning in close. “I’m just wondering how long you’re going to pretend that you  _don’t_ want to follow me up to my room and fuck me.”

Cassian sputtered, nearly choking on the drink he’d just taken. “ _Mierda_. You don’t waste any time do you?”

“I want what I want, Sour Patch. Tonight I want you.” She said assuredly. 

He gave her a long look, eyes roving over her shredded black tank. When they passed back up to meet hers, she noticed that his pupils had widened slightly, his breath just a little more uneven. 

She cocked an eyebrow. “So what’s it going to be? I’m not asking to marry you here. Live a little.”

His gaze was heavy, a war going on behind those dark eyes that Jyn itched to get some insight on. Baby steps. 

When he spoke, his voice was quiet. Almost sad. “I won’t pretend I don’t want you, but I can’t give you more than tonight.”

Jyn flashed her signature grin. “Alright then. Let’s get out of here.”

They paid for their drinks, Cassian following Jyn out of the bar and through the now empty lobby. His eyes darted around restlessly, as if he was afraid he would be caught going to her room. Jyn had no idea what the man’s hangup was, but she wasn’t going to press him anymore tonight.

When the elevator doors closed behind them, he visibly relaxed. He reached over to press a button to a floor that wasn’t hers. She raised an eyebrow, and he shrugged.

“Don’t you think yours might be occupied?” He asked pointedly.

Ah, she hadn’t thought of that. She nodded agreeably and he went quiet once more. 

“Don’t look so nervous there, you’ll make me think it’s your first time.” Jyn teased. 

He rolled his eyes. “Hardly. You know I’m your senior right?” 

Jyn gave him a devious look. “If this is your way of asking me to call you Daddy you’re going to have to give me a better argument.”

He closed his eyes in frustration, scrubbing a hand over his face. He acted annoyed, but he seemed more at ease when she teased him. She liked that. 

The rest of the elevator ride passed in comfortable silence, Jyn inwardly celebrating her tiny victory. She was used to getting what she wanted when it came to men, and she hadn’t wanted someone like she wanted Cassian in a very long time. 

She couldn’t put her finger on _why_ she found him so intriguing- he wasn’t even her normal type. Something about his quiet demeanor called to her. It didn’t help that his tawny skin begged to be kissed, or that his soft hair was just asking for her to run her fingers through it. 

His eyes were trained on the closed doors ahead, his body rigidly tense as if he were still battling his decision to follow her to her room. Again she found herself wondering who’d hurt this quiet man. When the elevator doors opened, she stepped out, turning so that he could follow. He hesitated for only a moment, finally stepping off to lead her down the hall. He came to a stop in front of what she assumed was his room, turning to look at her. 

“Are you sure that this is what you want? With me?” He asked evenly, his brow furrowed in thought. “I meant what I said Jyn, I can only give you tonight.”

She leaned into him, letting her hand ghost over the hardness of his chest. “I’m a big girl, Sour Patch. Don’t worry about me. I mean what I say, and I say what I mean. Now open that door.”

He groaned softly under her touch, his eyes fluttering closed for a moment before opening again, now heated with desire. He quickly slid the key into the lock, pushing the door open and letting her walk past him inside. She took in the wide space, eyeing the massive king bed in the center. She heard Cassian close the door softly behind her, and she made to turn his way.

“Now don’t worry, I promise to be real gent-” she started to tease, but she was cut off by the force of his mouth roughly covering hers as he pushed her into the wall behind. 

He thrust his hands into her hair, pulling her closer as he licked at the seam of her lips, silently telling her to open to him. She obliged eagerly, parting her mouth so that he could kiss her more deeply. She hadn’t expected this onslaught the minute they’d walked through the door, but she wasn’t the least bit put out by it. If anything it only made her burn a little hotter. 

Cassian’s hips ground into hers, and she could feel his already hardening cock tight against her pelvis as he thrust against her hips. Cassian let his hands skim down the length of her arms, pulling at her wrists to bring them over her head to pin them against the wall. He held them with one large palm, holding them in place as he used the other to slide under the hem of her tank. She loved the way his hand fit around the curve of her hip, so wide that he seemed to cover it entirely. 

He continued to invade her mouth, his tongue everywhere and all at once. Jyn’s head swam from the dizzying ministrations. Cassian could _kiss_. She wondered idly what else he might be able to do with the that mouth of his. He broke from her, panting heavily as his dark eyes bore down on her light ones. 

“Finally found a way to shut you up.” He said with a soft hmph. 

Jyn smiles wickedly. “Oh honey you feel free to shut me up anytime.”

She accentuated her point by leaning in, taking his bottom lip between her teeth and nibbling gently as she pushed her pelvis deeper into his. He groaned into her mouth, covering it once more for a kiss that made her toes curl. He freed her hands, bringing his instead to her waist and hoisting her upwards against him as he carried her to the bed. 

Cassian threw her down on top of the comforter, grabbing at her shoes to hastily tug them off. He made for his own next, slipping out of them and kicking them to the side. After, he undid the buttons of his dress shirt, sliding it over his shoulders as Jyn quietly lay back watching. Her thumb rested between her teeth, biting it as she smiled softly. Cassian in clothes was something, but Cassian _out_ of clothes was _something_. 

He was not a bulky man, but the hard sinew of his lean muscle wrapped around his shoulders and down his strong arms, biceps flexing as he grabbed at the hem of his undershirt to pull it over his head. A corded display of taut abdomen led up to a firm chest that Jyn wanted to run her hands over. 

When he pulled at his belt, threading it through the loops to remove it, Jyn sucked in a breath. He worked at the button of his dark jeans, popping it open before sliding down the zipper. Jyn loved how rushed he seemed, how eager he was to touch her without the restriction of clothes. 

When he was standing in only his briefs, the tented front showing Jyn exactly how eager he actually was, he leaned over, putting his hands on either side of her head. 

“You’re still wearing too many clothes.” He said quietly. 

She smiled. “I want _you_ to take them off.”

He hummed low in his chest, reaching for the dark material of her tank top to oblige her. He jerked it roughly over her head, her raising her arms to assist and shaking out her hair when she was free of it. The scarlet red lace bra she wore underneath was completely sheer, leaving nothing to the imagination and Cassian sucked in a shaky breath when he saw her dusky nipples straining against the fabric.

He set to work faster on her shorts, wrenching them downwards to reveal her matching underwear. 

“ _Perfecto_.” He whispered. She didn’t need to pass high school Spanish to catch that one, and she grinned lazily beneath him. 

It was only when his fingers had hooked into the edge of her underwear did he slow down, flicking his eyes to hers. 

“Last chance, are you sure?” He asked quietly. 

Instead of answering, she reached down, batting his hands away and moved to pull them off herself. She shimmied out of them, flinging then away and parting her legs unabashedly. She hadn’t thought to warn him, and when he caught a glimpse of the glinting hood piercing she’d kept hidden down there he froze.

His eyes tore to hers once more, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “Does that... does that hurt?”

She couldn’t help but laugh at his wary expression. “On the contrary, Sour Patch. It feels _really_  good when you play with it.”

He groaned, bringing his hand between her legs and running two fingers up the length of her slit, swirling the wetness there up through her folds to linger over the piercing above her clit. He flicked it, testing it before rolling it under his fingers. Jyn’s eyes fluttered closed instinctively, his fascination with her piercing apparent as he continued to experimentally tug on it. 

When his dark hair lowered, his mouth coming to rest only inches away from her now drenched pussy, she began to squirm restlessly. He blew on the warmth between her legs, the blast of cool air a shock. Her hips bowed slightly, her sex pressing right into his waiting mouth as he dragged his tongue through her soaked folds. 

Jyn cried out, her fingers moving to his head to wind into the locks of his hair. She pulled him closer, needing more contact. Cassian swirled his tongue over the tiny piercing above her clit, flicking it with his tongue. Each pass of his tongue sent a jolt of pleasure through her core, and she moved restlessly beneath him. 

His hands came to rest over the tops of her thighs, holding her in place as he continued to lap at her like a man dying of thirst. When she felt his teeth close over the small metal embellishment, tugging at it slightly while flicking the bud of her clit,  she began to shake violently. Her orgasm crashed through her like a wave, washing over her with a force that stole her breath.

He moved up the length of her, pressing wet kisses across her hip, up her belly, to her ribs, making a path to her face before pressing a bruising kiss to her mouth. She could taste herself on his tongue, and the carnal reminder of where he’d just been had her clenching her thighs together.

He started to pull at his briefs, sliding them over his hips before kicking them away. Jyn’s eyes widened at the sight of him, his cock long and thick and so hard for her. He slid the length of himself through her still slick pussy, the head nudging her hood piercing and causing both of them to groan. His forehead fell to hers, a collective sheen of sweat blending  together as his normally neat hair hang messily from his temples. 

“This is a terrible time to mention this,” he said breathily. “But I don’t have a condom.”

She smiled against his mouth. “I’ve been on birth control since I was sixteen. I get screened every year. I’m good if you are.”

“Ah, well... it’s definitely been... a while since I’ve done this. I’m clean.” He said quietly. 

The knowledge that he’d not been with someone for a lengthy amount of time had Jyn secretly ecstatic, knowing that _she_ was the first one he’d shown interest in God knows how long. She nodded in encouragement, pressing her mouth to his once more. 

He lined himself up at her entrance, her arms coming around his neck to thrust into his hair as he began to push inside. She stretched around him, loving the way her inner muscles burned to accommodate his length. His mouth went to her neck, the thin layer of scruff scratching against her skin as he pressed hot kisses there. He pushed until his hips met hers, the heavy weight of his balls resting against her as groaned into her neck. 

He whispered something into her hair, something in his own tongue that she couldn’t understand. 

“Ah, now you know I can’t understand-” she began to tease but he cut her off by covering her mouth with his. 

He ravaged her mouth as he pulled out of her, causing Jyn to moan. Cassian shuddered when pushed he back inside, slightly faster than before. Jyn needed _more_. She brought her mouth to his ear, whispering there.

“ _Harder_.” She urged.

Cassian let out a sharp grunt, his hands finding her waist and gripping the rounded curves there. He pulled her to the edge of the bed with him, falling to the pads of his feet on the floor. He slammed into her, pulling her legs around his waist and holding them tightly as he began to pound into her roughly. 

Jyn gasped, feeling him hit deep as he thrust into her harder and harder. Again and again he moved inside her this way, pushing her to the brink of pain but just enough to have her begging for more. He let her legs fall back to the side once more, his hands slamming to either side of her head as he disappeared inside her over and over again. Jyn snaked a hand between them, attempting to reach her clit but he slapped it away, bringing his own fingers to the tight bundle of nerves. 

He rubbed furiously against her clit, letting the pads of his fingers roll against the tiny hoop and causing Jyn to writhe. When he pinched it lightly between his fingers, Jyn’s orgasm tore through her, her back bowing and her mouth falling open in a shriek. Her knees clenched around Cassian’s hips, her insides quivering as his breath increased and his thrusts grew erratic. 

When he came, he shouted out, falling forward as his face buried in her neck. His hips twitched sporadically, hot jets of warmth filling her up as he rode out his climax. His full weight was a delicious pressure above her, and her hands came around his back to grasp at his shoulders. He heaved above her, trying to catch his breath. 

It was several moments before he finally slid out of her, rolling onto his back beside her on the mattress. Neither of them spoke, and the collective sounds of their labored breathing was the only sound to be heard in the space of the room. 

Jyn felt an awkward silence settling, and it made her uncomfortable. Cassian’s promise of only the one night lay heavily between them, and she assumed she wouldn’t be welcome to stay the night in his bed. She took a deep breath, rising to a sitting position. 

“Well... thanks for that.” She said as cheerfully as she could muster. “I’m glad to know I was right about that sweet underneath.”

She stood to gather her clothes, hastily putting them back on before looking for her shoes. 

“Jyn, I-” Cassian started, sitting up.

She waved him off. “Hey, it’s totally fine. One night remember? It was... it was really something.”

He gave her a long look before nodding slowly. “Yeah... it really was.”

He looked like he wanted to say more, his mouth opening slightly before closing again as he changed his mind. 

Well, that was that. “Okay well, I guess I’d better get to my own room. I’ll... I’ll see you around Cassian.”

Another heavy nod. “You too, Jyn.”

Jyn left him there, walking out the door. An unfamiliar feeling settled in her chest, something akin to regret. She brushed it off as she stepped into the elevator, telling herself that it was only because she’d just had the single most satisfying sexual experience of her entire life. She wasn’t one to mix feelings, and she would be fine. The only problem was... she already wanted to do it again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	2. Ven Conmigo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place directly after the gang have breakfast in the resort the morning after the concert. It covers what happened during Jyn and Rose’s shopping excursion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Guys I’m just going to warn y’all now, Jyn and Cassian’s story is pretty smutcentric. The theme is sexual healing. Lol. So the minute y’all get tired of that y’all just be like, “Oi m8 calm down a bit.” and I’ll rein it in. Lol.  
> Anyway...  
> I cannot for the life of me who made the comment on Like Red all those months ago about betting someone would get down and dirty in the back of that fancy car. Well, whoever you are, this one’s for you. XD

* * *

 

Jyn leaned against the car outside, waiting for Rose to come back down and idly reading over the articles Hux had mentioned. She smiled at all the speculation regarding Kylo’s concert, and secretly couldn’t wait till it came out that it was Rey. The internet dwellers were going to lose their minds. 

“Hey.” A strong voice broke through her reverie.

She glanced up, seeing Cassian standing just beside, his sunglasses firmly in place and hiding most of his expression. She gave him a passive look, barely glancing up at him from her phone. She wouldn’t let him know just how much she was affected, not a chance. 

“Hm?” She asked flippantly.

His face trained on hers, his eyes surely glued to hers through the dark lenses. “You lied to your friends.”

“Did I?” She grinned. “You mean we _didn’t_  go back to our own rooms last night and _not_ have mind blowing sex?”

He frowned, not responding. She waved him off then, her eyes falling back to the screen of her phone. “It’s fine, Sour Patch. I know a, ‘for the love of God please don’t tell them I slept with you’ look when I see one.”

He frowned deeper, his brow knitting in thought. “It’s not that I don’t want them to know I slept with _you_.”

She glanced over at him, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t have to do this.” She assured. “You made yourself very clear. One night. I’m not some fragile thing.”

He gave her a long look, nodding finally. “Alright.”

He stepped away then, moving around the car and sliding into the driver’s side to start it. Jyn sighed deeply, allowing herself to feel the traitorous emotions that stormed within her. She had assured him that she was not fragile— and that was true. Only... she felt cracks splintering within her that she couldn’t mend. 

It had stung, that pleading look he’d given her across the breakfast table amongst their collective friends. She could admit that. Still, he’d drawn the lines for last night clearly and dumping her lingering emotions onto him wasn’t proper one night stand protocol. 

Rose strode through the front doors of the resort then, sliding her sunglasses over her eyes and shuffling over to the car. “Ugh,” she groaned. “I bumped into Hux again on my way out.”

Jyn cocked an eyebrow. “How did that go?”

“Fucker avoided me like the plague.” Rose grumbled. “Figures.”

Jyn shrugged. “You _were_  a little aggressive at breakfast.”

“He jilted me!” Rose huffed.

Jyn couldn’t help but laugh. “You weren’t _betrothed_.” 

She rolled her eyes. “Shut up. I know that... but still. I just wish I knew why.”

Jyn remained silent, choosing not to respond as she climbed into the back of the car after Rose. She had her suspicions that the ginger bassist had noble intentions, but knew telling Rose so would only further her annoyance. Best to let them figure it out on their own if that were their fate. 

She noticed upon settling into the backseat that Cassian had yet to raise the partition, and his head turned towards the rear view mirror once the doors shut behind them. She couldn’t be sure, but she would almost swear he held her gaze for a moment before turning away. 

He cleared his throat, focusing his attention ahead. “Where to?”

“I was thinking the Gaslamp Quarter... if that’s not too far?” Rose ventured.

Cassian gave a curt nod. “About a half hour. Should be fine.”

He said nothing more, reaching towards the center console to raise the partition, cutting himself off from them. She let her gaze linger on the closed partition for only a moment before shaking the lingering disappointment away. Rose began to chatter away about the different shops she wanted to visit, and Jyn listened contently for the remainder of the ride. 

When they finally came to a stop in the coveted parking garage, Cassian parked the car, quickly exiting and the pulling the door open for them. When they stepped out, he muttered something about running some errands and quickly left them to their own devices. Jyn watched him stalk off, admittedly enjoying the way his slacks hugged his ass as he walked. 

Jyn shook her head. Definitely not the thoughts she should be having. She followed after Rose instead, ambling out of the garage and across the street to wander down the sidewalk.

Rose spent the next two hours dragging Jyn in and out of every boutique and outlet that caught her eye. Most of the shop’s wares were far too frilly for Jyn’s taste, so she was content to follow Rose quietly, offering her opinion when asked for it.

“What do you think of this one?” Rose sought, holding out a ruffled top of soft lavender. 

Jyn considered, taking the top from her and pressing it to her body to get a better idea. “Looks great with your hair.”

“You don’t think it’s too low cut?” Rose worried.

Jyn scoffed. “The answer to that question is always no. If your nips are hidden then you’re fine.”

Rose cocked an eyebrow. “I feel like that logic is flawed.”

Jyn shrugged. “Maybe.”

Rose gave the top a long look. “Fuck it, I’m buying it.”

“Atta girl.” Jyn praised. “Bare those titties.”

Rose groaned. “You’re too much.”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” Jyn laughed. “How many more places are you wanting to hit?”

Rose considered. “At least three to four that I saw on the map. Why, are you getting bored?”

Jyn shook her head. “Na, but internet says there’s a piercing shop nearby. I wanted to check it out.”

“I can go with you if you’ll let me finish up here.” Rose offered.

Jyn waved her off. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll just pop over there and text you when I’m done.”

“Well, okay.” Rose agreed. “I’ll be close.”

Jyn nodded in affirmation, leaving her to her shopping and exiting the boutique. She checked her map on her phone, noticing the shop was around the corner and two blocks down. She walked the short distance, spotting the edgy sign hanging from the dark brick just down the way. 

A door opened at the shop just beside, a familiar face making its way out onto the street and halting upon seeing her. He stood for a moment, staring at her with his dark eyes and not speaking. 

“Hey, Sour Patch.” Jyn offered, breaking the awkward silence. “Finish your errands?”

He nodded slowly. “I did.” 

“Ah, well. Rose still has a bit left. I’m sorry. That girl can _shop_.” Jyn said with a grin. 

Another nod. “It’s alright. What are you doing alone?”

Jyn pointed to the sign just behind him. “Looking to get a couple of new pieces.”

He glanced at the sign, and she saw the exact moment a _particular_ piercing crossed his mind. His mouth parted slightly, his eyes darkening as he fixed them back on her. Interesting. 

“Would you... would you want to come with? You could help me.” Jyn ventured.

His brow furrowed, and she knew he wanted to tell her it wasn’t a good idea. She rolled her eyes. “I promise not to force you into a contractual relationship while we’re in there. Don’t get all weird on me just because you’ve seen me naked.”

His eyes flicked down the length of her body, only for a second but just long enough that she caught it. When his eyes returned to hers, he nodded finally. “Alright.”

“Great.” She beamed. She tugged his arm, pulling him inside the shop. She recognized the sounds of The Birthday Massacre from the overhead speakers, and she instantly began to nod her head to the beat. 

Cassian scrunched his nose beside her, looking up at the speakers in distaste. “What is this noise?”

Jyn gave him a look of mock indigence. “First of all, they’re amazing. Second of all, why do I get the feeling you probably listen to Jack Johnson or something like that?”

His mouth twitched, and she pressed him. “Tell me, Sour Patch. What’s your _favorite_ song?”

He regarded her evenly, not answering. She stood resolute, tapping her foot and crossing her arms. “It’s not going to hurt you to tell me something about yourself. Even friends do that.”

He sighed in defeat. “The Way You Look Tonight.”

She had to admit it wasn’t what she expected. “Frank?” She thought about it for a moment, deciding it fit him. “I can respect that. So you like the big band era?”

He nodded. “I do.”

“Interesting. It suits you somehow.” She affirmed. “Alright, now let’s look around.”

She pulled him along the glass cases, suppressing a laugh over his wary expression of their attendant who was heavily tattooed and pierced. She found a barbell for her eye that glowed in the dark, a stainless steel number with opaque pearl ends. She put that aside to buy, and moved along the cases with Cassian in tow. 

He paused by a case, his hand gripping the edge of the counter above and staring down at the pieces he recognized. She bit back a grin, understanding that he was still heavily affected by her tiny metal secret. She strode casually up to him, schooling her features into passivity. 

“See anything you like?” She teased.

He glanced at her, shaking his head fervently and trying to pretend she hadn’t just caught him staring at hood piercings. “Hm, I could probably use a new one.”

His mouth parted slightly, his breath hitching deliciously and Jyn was beside herself. Cassian was not as cool about their little tryst as he pretended to be. She grinned up at him, leaning on the case with her elbow. “So... what’s your favorite color?”

“My— my favorite color?” He stammered.

She nodded. “I’m curious.”

He raised an eyebrow, confused by the sudden change of topic. “Blue?”

Jyn nodded, turning away from him and peering down into the case. She found what she sought, a stainless steel L shape with a glinting azure gem stone dangling from it. She caught the attention of the clerk, waving him over and pointing down to it. 

“I’ll take that one.” She told him.

Cassian was staring at her with wide eyes, his mouth now gaping and she winked back at him. She took the piece from the clerk, following him to the register and paying for her two pieces. When they found themselves back on the street, Cassian still seemed somewhat shellshocked. Jyn turned to him, tapping his arm. 

“Hey, I wasn’t trying to make you uncomfortable.” She assured. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head. “Don’t apologize.”

“Well, you’re acting like a offended you... you’re being so quiet.” She pressed.

He grabbed her wrist suddenly, pulling her to him to murmur in her ear. “Actually all I can think about is you touching that piercing and thinking of me.”

Her breath hitched, a shiver running down her spine. “I would, you know.” She assured him, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’d come around my fingers and wish it were your cock.”

His chest rose and fell heavily, his eyes wide and dark and glued to hers. He shook his head then, seemingly remembering they were standing in the middle of a crowded sidewalk. 

“ _Qué estoy haciendo_?” He said incredulously. Noticing her confused look he added, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”

Jyn came to a decision, pulling out her phone and shooting Rose a quick text. She got a reply back moments later, finding the answer she sought. 

“Rose will be a little while still.” She informed him.

He nodded, his brow knit in confusion. “Okay?”

“You’re coming with me.” She informed him, tugging at his hand. She led him back from where they’d come, the large parking garage in which the car rested coming into view. 

“Where are we going?” He asked her.

“The car.” She clarified.

“May I ask why?” He pressed.

She pulled him across the street quickly when the walk signal lit up the sign, not answering him. She found the car tucked away in the darkness of their parking spot, and she turned to him. “Unlock it.”

He obliged, still looking at her curiously. She opened the door to the backseat, nodding her head towards it. “Get in.”

His brows raised in surprise, understanding creeping over his features. “You don’t mean...”

She nodded. “I _do_  mean. You’re not as done with me as you like to pretend and I’ve been thinking about your cock all day so let’s just get this over with.”

His eyes were wide, his mouth gaping open in shock. “Jyn, I...”

She leaned, sliding a hand down the front of his dress shirt and lower to palm his cock through the fabric of his slacks. “You’d better hurry, Sour Patch. Who knows when Rose will come back?”

His eyes fluttered closed at her touch, a low growl sounding in his chest. He glanced around the dark garage, seeing no one and then he fell into the backseat with Jyn in tow. She slammed the door shut, the dark windows hiding their presence as he went to his back in the seat. 

“I can’t believe we’re doing this.” He murmured.

“I can.” Jyn assured. “If you’ve been thinking about me half as much as I have about you.”

He glanced up at her, his hands sliding around her hips to grip them. “I’ve thought of nothing else.” He admitted.

Jyn beamed, leaning to press her lips to his and groaning softly as his tongue darted out to part them. Her fingers found purchase in his hair, gripping the dark strands and pulling him closer. Her hips ground into his, feeling his cock straining against his pants beneath her. 

She unceremoniously undid the button of her shorts, jerking them down her hips and kicking them to the floorboard before reaching for Cassian’s zipper. She bunched them down his hips, tugging at his underwear so that they could follow. 

When she held his jutting length in her hand, she pumped him slowly, causing him to groan.

“Are you sure?” He questioned.

“I’m _sure_.” She asserted. “Assume I’m _always_  sure.”

He nodded heavily, reaching between them to thumb at her clit beneath her underwear. She pulled her lip between her teeth, squeezing his cock as he thrust upwards into her hand. He moved to tug at the band of her black lace thong, encouraging her to take it off. When she attempted to rise upwards to do just that, she squirmed to roll them off her hips. 

When her movements proved too slow for Cassian’s tastes, he jerked at the band, shredding it in his hand and moving to repeat the action on the other side. He slid the tattered fabric into his pocket, smirking at Jyn’s shocked reaction. He wasted no time, returning his attention to the glint between her legs and pressing his thumb into it roughly. 

Jyn moaned, her head lolling forward as he thumbed at her clit, fondling the hoop there. She released her hold on him, scooting forward and rocking against his cock. 

His fingers dug into the soft flesh of her hips, his nails biting her skin and surely leaving indentations. She reached between them to wrap a hand around him once more, lifting to press him to her entrance and slowly sliding down onto his length. He groaned when she was full of him, shutting his eyes and thrusting upwards lightly to seek more of her. 

She let her hand rest against the exposed skin of his abdomen, undulating against him in one fluid motion and causing every part of him to rock through her core. Her eyes fluttered closed as she felt him twitch inside her, repeating the motion and reveling in the slow slide of his thick cock against her inner walls. 

“I guess I made a liar out of you.” Jyn rasped, looking down at him through hooded eyes.

He met her gaze, stilling for a moment. She smiled lazily, tilting forward to rock against him. “You promised me one night... but you’re giving me your day too.”

He grasped at her waist, urging her to lift and he let out a shaky breath as she rose up his length only to slide back down it. “I don’t think I could have ever settled for just one night.”

She grinned, following his lead and using her knees to push herself upwards again and again to slide up and down his cock. She moved faster as his hips begin to thrust upwards, both of them meeting each other skin to skin. He sought her clit once more, grinding into the metal there and rubbing a pattern into the taut bud. 

She felt herself tensing, that slow burn between her legs cresting to new heights as her thighs shook. 

“Cassian, I'm— I’m going to—” She gasped.

“ _Ven conmigo_.” He rasped. “Come with me.”

She let go, her pussy fisting him as she allowed her orgasm to roll through her. She clutched at his bare thighs, digging into the hard muscle as her knees trembled around his hips. He grunted as he followed, hot cum filling her as his cock jetted inside, his fingers gripping her waist  to hold on. 

She fell forward, her chest meeting his as she struggled to catch her breath. She could feel his own chest rising and falling heavily, the pair of them spent and winded from what they’d just done. When her breathing slowed to a more normal pace, she leaned upwards, pressing a kiss to his mouth and enjoying he way he returned it. 

She pulled away then, letting his now spent cock slide out from inside her and fall heavily to abdomen. He moved to sit upright, pulling his underwear and slacks back into place and tucking his shirt back in before fastening them. He watched as Jyn pulled on her own shorts, forced to forego underwear as they still rested in a torn lump in his pocket.

“You can keep my underwear.” She teased. “Something to remember me by.”

Her chest twinged with her words, knowing that she shouldn’t hope for more than this. She didn’t even know if or when she would ever see Cassian again. He stared after her, watching silently as she stepped from the car. 

“I’m... I’m going to go meet up with Rose. Otherwise she’ll come looking.” Jyn informed him, wishing he would say _anything_ to make this into more than what it seemed. Deciding it was high time to lay all the cards out on the table, she paused then, giving him a thoughtful look. “Give me your phone.”

He raised an eyebrow, reaching into his pocket and handing it to her. She quickly sent herself a text, pulling out her own phone to reply to it and then saving their numbers into each other’s phones. 

“There.” She asserted, handing his phone back to him. “I don’t know what chance we’ll have to talk between now and when we go home... but you have my number. You say you can’t give me more than what you already have, but I think you’re a liar. I think you know as well as I do that you like me. So... if you decide to change your mind... you let me know.”

He nodded, watching as she shut the door behind her, leaving him to himself. She hated the feeling in her chest, knowing full well she’d wanted what had just happened, just as much as she had last night. She couldn’t deny however that the the thought of Cassian never using her number hurt. She would survive it, as she always did, but just this once... she hoped she wouldn’t have to.

* * *

Jyn stepped into her apartment later that night, frustrated and sullen. She hadn’t spoken to Cassian at all for the remainder of the day. He’d left the partition up for the drive back to their resort, and then again on the drive back to Los Angeles. He hadn’t even said goodbye when he’d dropped her off at her apartment. 

She supposed that was his answer. She was disappointed to be sure, but knew that something, or more likely _someone_ had hurt Cassian deeply and it was possible he would never be ready to seek out something more with anyone else. His pain was etched into him like the lines of a marble sculpture, molding him into the hard image he portrayed for the world to see. 

Still, she had glimpsed that sweet underneath and it had made her yearn for more. Something she’d never wanted before. It was silly really, considering she barely knew him. She concluded that this was probably for the best. 

She readied for bed quickly, throwing herself under the covers and settling into her pillow. She sighed into the softness under her cheek, watching the lights of the city twinkle outside her window and musing about what could have been despite her best efforts not to.

Just as she’d closed her eyes to sleep, a buzz sounded at her bedside table, the screen to her phone lighting up her bedroom and drawing her attention. She grabbed at it, squinting at the bright screen in the dark and grinning at what she found.

 

> **Cassian: I’ve changed my mind.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  I added a soundtrack! (I’m addicted to making playlists, feel free ignore it.) _But _, I will note the opening song. “Colors” by Halsey was half the inspiration for this story. :P__


	3. A Good Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took me so long! I’ve been hella busy, and now I have three WIP’s and two prompts and SOMEONE SAVE ME FROM MYSELF. Whew. I’m fine. Anyway, hope you enjoy this Cassian POV! Plenty of plot tease. :)  
> Note: This chapter starts the morning after The girls go home from the concert, spans across that week, and ends the day after Kylo showed up at Rey’s door in the middle of the night.  
> 

* * *

 

Cassian couldn’t believe he’d sent that text. Even now in the light of the next day he had checked the text message thread he’d started with her the night before in disbelief. He didn’t do this. He _couldn’t_ do this. Yet... when he closed his eyes he saw her, as if she’d clawed her way inside him and refused to leave.

He almost laughed at that, knowing it was _exactly_ something that she would do. He examined the response she’d sent him last night, so simple and yet so full of terrifying promise.

 

> **Jyn: Game on, Sour Patch.**

She hadn’t said anything else, and he was unsure of how to proceed. Would she expect him to send her cute little messages now? He didn’t know how to do that. _Mierda_. It had been absolutely too long since he’d done this.

“You’re frowning a lot more than usual there, Cass.”

He looked up to find Kylo taking a seat next to him at the table, the rest of their party more than likely still in bed. His natural response was to frown more, which only made Kylo laugh.

“You seem to be frowning a lot _less_  than usual.” Cassian mused.

Kylo grinned. “I’ve had help.”

“So I’ve noticed.” Cassian affirmed. “I must advise you to be careful. You barely know this girl. You don’t know her angle.”

Kylo snorted. “She doesn’t have an angle.”

“All women have an angle.” Cassian retorted bitterly.

Kylo whistled. “One day you’re going to have to tell me about her.”

Cassian averted his gaze, not wanting to press the topic any further. She was someone he never talked about. It would stay that way if he had anything to do with it. 

“What about Jyn?” Kylo pressed. “Do you think _she_ has an angle?”

Cassian refuses to meet his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Cassian liked Kylo quite a lot, not that he would ever admit it. He envied him for his newfound lightness he seemed to have found in the girl he’d brought to the concert. Still, he’d learned long ago there were no true fixes to a broken heart. Best just to learn to live with the pieces you were left with. 

“You’re welcome to tell me the truth about what really happened between you and her you know.” He offered.

Cassian’s jaw tensed. “How did you know?”

Kylo shrugged. “For one, I’ve never seen you check your phone as many times as you have in the few minutes I was standing over there watching you.”

Cassian scowled. Was it that obvious? He didn’t like looking like some sort of lovelorn teenager. He was in his thirties for goodness sake. “It’s just as she said.”

Kylo sighed. “Listen, I know we’ve never talked about whatever your hangup is— and don’t look at me like that because obviously you have one, and I know I’ve never asked. It isn’t because I don’t want to know, it’s just because I respect your privacy, man. I have to say this though. Whatever is going on between you and Jyn... don’t deny yourself a good thing, if that’s what you want. I’m learning we all might deserve a good thing.”

Cassian considered. He couldn’t deny the logic of Kylo’s words... merely the application. “Trust is... hard for me.”

“ _No_ ,” Kylo gasped. “Not you.”

He felt his mouth twitch, quickly bringing it to heel.

“Ah,” Kylo celebrated. “Almost got a smile. We have a bet who’ll get one first. I can’t let Phasma beat me.”

Cassian rolled his eyes, uncomfortable with the conversation surrounding him so  heavily. “Your lady friend,” he started, changing the subject. “You seem quite taken with her.”

Kylo grinned wide, sighing happily. “She doesn’t know it yet, but I’m pretty sure I’m going to marry that girl.”

Cassian had to admit he admired Kylo’s openness to his own feelings. His own had been buried deep for so long... he was unsure if he could even reach them anymore. Still, thinking of Jyn’s easy grin was the closest he’d come in years.

* * *

_Four days_. He hadn’t heard from her in four days. He pulled his phone out for what had to have been the hundredth time that day, debating on sending her some sort of message, but he had no idea to say.

_What’s up?_

Garbage.

_I miss you._

Too much.

_I can’t stop thinking about you in my bed._

Creepy. Accurate, but creepy. 

 _Dios mio_ , he groaned internally, he had know idea who he was anymore. Still, she hadn’t said anything further to him either. Had she lost interest? Could he blame her? He was still shocked that she wanted anything to do with him in the first place. She was so bright and he... well he was a dulled shell of his former self. 

He sighed, stowing away his phone in his pocket yet again, unable to find the words he wanted to say. At this point she would fade away into the night and he would never see her again and it would be his own damn fault. 

“Hey Cass,” Hux called from the stage. “Will you grab me another amp cable from the lounge?”

Cassian looked up to see Hux struggling with his bass and scowling because he wasn’t getting any output. He left the side stage just as Kylo was moving to help him, making his way to the lounge to check through the spare gear bags. He located Hux’s bag slung haphazardly on one of the couches, rifling through it until he came up with a spare cord. 

He felt a buzzing in his pocket, pulling out to check the incoming text and nearly dropping his phone at what he found.

 

> **Jyn: I’m wearing your favorite color.**

Surely she didn’t mean... she couldn’t _possibly_  be talking about the— 

A picture came through seconds after, causing him to suck in a sharp breath as his pulse began to sound wildly in his ears like a roar. Jyn had tried on her purchase from the piercing shop that day, and she had sent him a photo. He stood frozen, clutching at his phone and drinking in the sight of her. 

He couldn’t see her face, but he would know her body in complete darkness for all the times he’d thought about it at this point. She lay on a bed, the camera spanning down the length of her body, the flat of her stomach photographed from above. She was completely naked, and from the angle of her photo he could just see a glint of blue at the apex of her thighs.

He swallowed thickly, his tongue suddenly dry and his cock threatening to swell beneath his slacks. He pressed the phone to his chest, closing his eyes and trying to calm himself. The cord. They were waiting for the cord. He had to get a grip. He quickly paced back to the stage, thrusting the cord at a startled Hux who gave him a curious look when he noticed his urgent behavior. 

Cassian offered no explanation as he turned on his heel to flee from the stage, never slowing his pace until he was locked away in the large bathroom just off the lounge. It was then he allowed himself to glance at the photo again, searing it onto his brain. With shaking thumbs he typed out a reply.

 

> **Cassian: Blue looks very good on you.**

That wasn’t so bad, was it? That didn’t seem too desperate. Even if desperate was how he felt right now. Her response came through only seconds later.

 

> **Jyn: Seems like you were never going to text me, so I thought you needed a little motivation.**
> 
> **Cassian: I am... very motivated.**
> 
> **Jyn: Good. I hear you’re free starting this weekend for a while. Want to come be motivated with me? ;)**

He thought about it, his desire warring with his fear. Part of him wanted to be so much closer to Jyn, and yet the other part of him was terrified to do so. Being close to someone allowed them to break you. Giving them that power opened yourself up to be destroyed by them. He would know. It had been his end.

 

> **Jyn: Stop frowning. I know you are, Sour Patch. You can enjoy me without stressing so much about it. We can take it slow.**

Slow. He could do slow. He felt his anxiety lessening, her uncanny ability to calm him a welcome breath of fresh air. He made a decision, quickly typing out a reply before he could change his mind. 

 

> **Cassian: Send me your address.**

* * *

 

“What do you mean he took the car?” Hux gaped.

Cassian sighed. “Exactly what I said. He demanded the keys from me the minute we got back to the resort last night and took off.”

Phasma laughed. “Oh my sweet little lover boy.”

“What do you mean?” Hux pressed.

“He ran off to his lady.” Phasma clarified, grinning contently. “I quite like twitterpated Kylo. The arsenal for teasing alone is marvelous.”

“That little sappy son of a bitch.” Hux groaned. “He’s adorable. Wait till I see him.”

Cassian had to admit he was a little perturbed that now they had to wait for another car service to come fetch them, already antsy to return to Los Angeles. He’d texted Jyn a couple more times since her shocking photo, and he’d studied said photo a dozen more times than that. He hoped she wouldn’t ask him to delete it, because he didn’t physically think that he could at this point.

By the time they’d piled into the car service more than forty five minutes later, it was well passed noon. Jyn had sent her address days ago, and he’d almost committed it to memory for all the times he’d looked at it. He had no idea what the proper protocol was from here. Did she expect him to show up the minute he got back in town? Surely not. That seemed incredibly desperate. 

Deciding to find out for himself, he discreetly pulled out his phone to ask the source. 

 

> **Cassian: Did you still want to see me?**

He only had to wait a few seconds before he saw her responding. 

 

> **Jyn: You bet your sour ass I do.**

He grinned softly, unable to stop himself. Much to his dismay it did not go unnoticed. 

“Did you just smile?” Hux gasped from the backseat, catching Cassian’s expression in the rear view. 

Cassian quickly reined himself in, schooling his features and shaking his head.

“Dude,” Hux snickered. “I totally saw you. I feel like I just saw a unicorn.”

“I can’t believe I missed it.” Phasma mourned. “It’s like a comet, who knows when I’ll get another chance?”

“ _Cállate_ , both of you.” He grumbled.  He glanced in the rear view, finding Hux and Phasma still snickering softly and even Mitaka was sporting a sly grin. Heaven help him, he was losing his edge. 

“So whatcha got on your phone there, Cass?” Hux pressed. “Don’t tell me your surfing PornHub amidst company.”

“He’s not _you_ , you cave troll.” Phasma snarked.

“Hey. It was _one_ time.” Hux argued.

“One time too  _many_.” She countered.

Thankfully distracted, the pair of them continued to bicker away, leaving Cassian forgotten in the front seat. He’d told Jyn he’d let her know when he got back into town, deciding to stop by his apartment before meeting her. It had been weeks since he’d been there and he knew he should probably stop by to check on the state of things.

Admittedly he avoided going home as much as he could, the memories there were just _suffocating_ sometimes. He’d considered moving hundreds of times over the years... but for some reason cutting that tie hurt too. He’d been in limbo for so long that the idea of trying to pull himself from it was terrifying. 

The rest of their drive into the city was uneventful, mostly falling into a discussion as to what Kylo might be up to, which had certainly led to more innuendo than Cassian cared to hear in a lifetime from Hux. He refused their invitation to come inside at Phasma and Mitaka’s house for a drink, instead letting the three of them pile out and giving the driver directions to his apartment instead.

Riding the elevator up to his floor later was like holding a breath, knowing he would feel too much when he stepped through the door. He exhaled deeply when he found himself outside his door, pressing the key into the lock and stepping inside. At first glance it was your average, normal apartment, but to Cassian’s eyes it was haunted. Everywhere he looked there were ghosts of another life. A life that he’d lost. 

He threw his bag to the floor in the entry, moving through the living room towards his bedroom for a shower. He stopped at the sofa table behind the couch, pausing to run a finger over the framed picture there as he always did. The boy was only two then, his dark eyes reminding him so much of his own. He felt his heart writhe beneath his chest, shaking off his dark musings and continuing onwards to his bedroom.

He should throw the picture away. Logically, he knew that. It made no sense to keep it. Every time he tried however he found he simply couldn’t. How could you tell your heart to stop loving someone? His was a wound that would forever bleed and fester. 

The shower did wonders for his mood, and by the time he stepped out he found he was feeling a lot less morose. He padded through his bedroom with a towel around his waist, picking through his closet for a change of clothes. He saw his phone lit up with an alert on his dresser, and he paused to check it.

 

> **Jyn: Would it freak you out to let me treat you to dinner?**

He thought about it. He didn’t _feel_  freaked out at the idea. How he would feel once he was _there_  however was another story. Still, dinner wasn’t the end of the world. Friends ate dinner. Dinner was slow. He could do slow. He had to keep reminding himself that. 

 

> **Cassian: Dinner sounds good. You’re not treating me though.**
> 
> **Jyn: It’s 2018. Don’t be such a dude.**
> 
> **Cassian: I thought you liked that about me.**
> 
> **Jyn: My, my, did Sour Patch just get a little sassy? I declare.**

He rolled his eyes. Sometimes she was exasperating. He had a sneaking suspicious however that it was his favorite thing about her. 

 

> **Cassian: I need to collect the car from Kylo, but I can pick you up in a couple of hours?**
> 
> **Jyn: Sounds good. I’ll be home by 5.**
> 
> **Cassian: I’ll be there by 6.**
> 
> **Jyn: I can’t wait. ;)**

He stowed his phone on the bed, continuing to his closet to find something to wear. This was fine. It was all going to be fine. They were taking things slow, and he _could_  do slow. 

He thought back to Kylo’s words from days before, letting them bounce around in his head.

_“Whatever is going on between you and Jyn... don’t deny yourself a good thing, if that’s what you want. I’m learning we all might deserve a good thing.”_

He let them play over and over like a mantra, telling himself all the while that Kylo was right. He _did_  deserve a good thing, and he hoped with every fiber of his being that Jyn was that good thing he’d been waiting for. He hoped even more however, that despite all his flaws and his issues... he could be her good thing too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 


	4. Dessert First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place Saturday evening, the day after Kylo showed up at Rey’s apartment in the middle of the night.   
> 

* * *

 “Well don’t you look sharp.” Jyn grinned lazily from her door.

Cassian stood on her landing, his hands in the pockets of his dark jeans and his eyes flicking down the length of her body as he took in the short, black dress she wore. 

When he found her eyes once more, he cleared his throat lightly. “You look pretty sharp yourself.”

Jyn shrugged. “I know.”

His mouth drew into a tight line as if holding back a smile and she winked at him as she grabbed her purse from the bar. 

“I take it you’re ready to go?” He asked.

She nodded. “I’m starved. You can see my place later, when you bring me home. ”

She said the last bit with an air of promise that had Cassian shifting nervously. She smiled, pulling her door closed and locking it behind her. He led her down the steps, his hand at the small of her back as he followed her to the waiting car. He helped her into the passenger seat, circling around to slide into the driver’s seat. 

“So who's car _is_  this exactly?” Jyn wondered.

Cassian shrugged. “Technically it belongs to the band. Kylo didn’t want a tour bus, said he couldn’t stand to sleep that close to Phasma and Mitaka and risk hearing something he shouldn’t.”

Jyn laughed. “I love Phasma. She’s fucking rad.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “She’s insufferable.”

Jyn shrugged, still laughing softly. “She might say the same about you, Sour Patch.”

“Probably.” He answered truthfully. “I’m not very... fun.”

She reached across the console to let her finger trace across the back of his hand. “I don’t know... I think I’ve seen a pretty _fun_  side of you.”

She watched as his Adam’s apple bobbed, swallowing heavily and she knew that were his skin less bronzed he would more than likely be heated in a blush. 

“So,” she started, changing the subject. “Kylo won’t need the car?”

Cassian scoffed. “I’ll spare you the more sordid details of what he said... but basically he does not plan to leave your friend’s apartment this weekend. I just need to have it back by tomorrow night. He apparently has an outing planned Monday for them.” 

Jyn whistled. “Lucky Rey. Your boy seems pretty lovestruck.”

Cassian nodded. “So it would seem.”

“I’m happy for them. Everyone deserves love.” She said thoughtfully. 

He glanced across the console to look at her, his eyes raking down the side of her face before he nodded softly. “ _Quizás_.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You know I can’t understand it when you do that.”

He clicked his tongue. “Habit. I said, perhaps.”

“That doesn’t sound very convincing.” She chided.

He shrugged. “Love is... dangerous.”

“Hm, I can’t exactly argue with that, but it doesn’t mean you don’t deserve it.” She pressed.

He didn’t respond, but his grip on the steering wheel tightened slightly, and she decided to let the subject rest. Obviously it was uncomfortable for him. She found herself wishing again to know what had happened to him. She hoped one day he would tell her. 

He flicked on his turn signal not long after, turning into a lot and pulling under an awning. He tossed his keys to the valet, coming around to her side of the car to open her door. He took her hand, pulling her from her seat and leading her to the door. 

A heavy wooden sign adorned with elegant painted script hung just outside the door reading, _Jedha City_. The inside was warm and inviting, the lighting low and romantic. Cassian gave his name to the hostess, who quickly confirmed their reservation and then proceeded to lead them to a table. 

When they were seated, she informed them that their waiter would be with them soon and left them with a smile. Jyn was still marveling at the low hanging chandeliers and the ornate stone walls, having never actually been in a restaurant as nice as the one she currently visited. 

“This place is _swank_.” She gushed. “You take all your dates here?”

He frowned. “I haven’t been on a date in a very long time, so no.”

She put her hand to her chest, gasping playfully. “My, aren’t I special?”

He gave her a heated look, nodding softly. “Yes, you are.”

She felt herself slightly rattled by his candor, even almost threatening to blush, something she never did. She grinned shyly instead, pulling her lip between her teeth and returning his heated gaze. 

“You’re pretty special yourself, Sour Patch.” She assured him.

He continued to stare at her, looking as if he wanted to say more but they were interrupted then by their waiter. 

“Good evening. My name is Kaytu and I’ll be your server this evening. May I start you off with a drink?” The man asked. He was impossibly tall, his broad shoulders seemingly off balance with his spindly legs. 

“An old fashioned please.” Jyn requested, looking across the table to Cassian expectantly.

“Scotch on the rocks.” He answered. 

“Excellent.” Kaytu replied. “I’ll get that put in for you and be back to take your orders promptly.”

He left them, Jyn chuckling softly as she watched him go. Cassian looked at her questioningly, not seeing what was funny. 

“He kind of walks and talks like a robot.” She clarified.

Cassian glanced at his retreating figure curiously, a small smile curling at his lips. “You’re right, he sort of does.”

Jyn was distracted by the smile at his lips, her eyes glued to it. “You’re smiling.”

It faded as quickly as it had come, his expressions returning to passivity easily. “I rarely get the urge.” He admitted. “I guess... I guess you bring it out of me.”

Jyn beamed, his words warming her more than any compliment he could have given her. She wanted to make him smile more. She wanted to always be the reason. The passing thought took her by surprise, knowing that it was as unbidden as it was dangerous. Whatever was between them was fragile and she knew pushing Cassian too hard would cause him to run. Slow, she reminded herself, keep things slow.

The waiter returned with their drinks, setting them down on a napkin accompanied with a glass of water for each of them. 

“Are we ready to order?” He pressed.

Cassian nodded, looking up from his menu at Jyn. She returned his nod, giving her order to Kaytu and Cassian following suit right after. He wrote them down, gathering up their menus and turning to leave them again. 

Jyn leaned on her elbows, her chin balanced on her hands as she regarded a quiet Cassian. “So...” she started. “Where are you from?”

“Originally I was from Mexico City.” He explained. “I came here for college and I... well, I ended up staying.”

“Are your parents still back in Mexico?” She pressed.

He nodded. “Yes. I try to visit them a few times a year, or they come here sometimes.”

“So how on Earth did you end up working for a punk rock band?” She wondered.

He huffed amusedly. “I met Kylo at an event I was organizing, his band was opening for the headliner that night. He approached me after the show and told me he needed someone to ‘keep his ass in line’ and asked me to come work for him.”

Jyn laughed. “That sounds about right. So you did?”

He scoffed. “I turned him down. Some young kid almost ten years my junior as my boss? No thank you.”

Jyn raised an eyebrow. “So... explain your current employment then.”

He rolled his eyes. “If you need to know anything about Kylo... it is that he is persistent. He hounded me for _months_  until I finally gave in, if only to get some peace and quiet.”

She chuckled. “So do you like it?”

He sighed heavily, shaking his head. “I love it. Not that I would ever tell them that. Still, they’re a wonderful group of idiots.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “They seem amazing, not what I would expect out of rockstars.”

“What about you?” He asked, changing the subject. “What of your family?”

She frowned, she should have known he would ask. She wasn’t ashamed of her past, but she was hoping not to have to be a Debbie downer this early in the evening. “Ah, well... my mom died when I was eight, so I spent most of my childhood living with my uncle.”

His brow furrowed in concern. “I’m sorry to hear that. Was she ill?”

Jyn shook her head. “No... um, she was murdered.”

Cassian sucked in a breath. “ _Dios mio_ , Jyn I... I’m so sorry.”

She waved him off. “It was a lifetime ago. I barely remember her now.”

He regarded her concernedly, his sympathy painting his features and making her uncomfortable. She didn’t need sympathy. 

“What of your father?” He continued. “Where was he?”

She sighed. “He’s the reason she was killed.”

He reeled, leaning in with curiosity. “What?”

Jyn scratched at her neck idly. “My Dad was involved with some really shady people. Gang related stuff. My mother never even knew... he was a software analyzer by day, but some bad people approached him about doing some _side projects_ for their group. From what I understand it started out small, but he just got more and more involved as time went on. Apparently at one point he tried to get out and... well, they didn’t like that. They killed my mom to teach him a lesson.”

Cassian’s mouth was parted slightly in disbelief, looking as if he had no idea what to say. “Jyn I... I’m so sorry.” He repeated.

She nodded. “They killed him too, soon after. He tried to go to the police with what he knew... and they took him out. It was years before they were finally brought down. I read about it when I was older.”

He continued to stare at her, his eyes laced with sadness. She turned from his gaze, feeling uncomfortable. 

“Anyway, I’m sorry. Not exactly fun dinner talk.” She apologized. 

He shook his head. “No, I... I’m glad you told me.” 

There was an odd look on his face, one that she could almost swear was relief, which was confusing. She wondered idly if he was thinking of his own demons. She almost wanted to ask, thinking that maybe her ability to share would open him up. 

The waiter returned with their food then, breaking their morbid moment of conversation and setting their plates out in front of them. “Everything look alright?”

Cassian nodded up at him. “It looks great, thank you.”

Kaytu gave a short bow of his head. “Just call if you need me and I’ll be there for you. The manager said I have to.”

He turned on his heel then, and Jyn shared a curious look with Cassian before the pair of them burst out laughing. Cassian was admittedly more demure in his laughter than Jyn, but she felt her chest swell at the sound all the same. 

“He is a grumpy robot.” Cassian chuckled.

“He might even give _you_ a run for your money.” Jyn teased.

He grinned more fully at her, and Jyn felt her heart beat wilder in her chest. Cassian’s smile was breathtaking and she was already mentally planning out ways to make him show it more often. Baby steps.

“You could tell me a little bit about your own hangups you know.” Jyn said quietly around her fork as she took a bite. “Since I’ve already made the night depressing with my sob story.”

He knit his brow as he glanced down at his plate, considering. “I haven’t talked about it... in a very long time.”

“If it’s too painful... don’t force yourself.” She assured him.

He sighed. “I was married.”

She considered. That made sense, he was in his early thirties at least. “I take it didn’t end well?”

He nodded. “She was not... she was not who I thought she was. When she left... she took everything with her.”

Jyn got the sense that he was alluding to a lot more than furniture and tableware... but she didn’t want to press him. She was happy with the small tidbit he was comfortable sharing. She returned to her food, the rest of their dinner falling into a comfortable silence. Cassian did not offer more about his past, and she did not ask. 

When the waiter returned after having noticed they had almost finished their food, he regarded them in the same monotonous manner that he had for the whole of the evening.

“Care for dessert?” He asked.

Jyn pat her stomach. “I probably shouldn’t. I already ate so much.”

“I find that answer vague and unconvincing.” Kaytu said dryly. 

Jyn almost wanted to laugh. She couldn’t tell if their waiter was an asshole or just had the weirdest sense of humor she’d ever seen. Cassian assured him they did not need dessert, and asked for the check instead. 

“This was great.” Jyn admitted as the waiter took Cassian’s card to run it. “You didn’t have to bring me somewhere so fancy though. I’m fine with a burger joint.”

Cassian shrugged. “Maybe I just wanted the excuse to get you into a dress.”

“ _Sour Patch_. Are you flirting with me?” Jyn gasped playfully. 

He shrugged, grinning shyly. God, she was slowly getting addicted to that smile. “My place or yours?” She asked suggestively, unable to rein in the budding arousal blooming in her lower abdomen. 

His eyes darkened considerably, his tongue running over his bottom lip and drawing her gaze to the movement. “Yours is closer.” He replied lowly.

“Mine it is.” She confirmed. 

She suddenly couldn’t get out of the restaurant fast enough, her skin humming with expectation at the thought of his hands on her again. Cassian seemed to be in a similar mood, hurriedly guiding her out of the restaurant the moment he had his receipt from their waiter. Kaytu bid them an awkward wave as they went, thanking them for the tip Cassian left. 

Cassian’s hand curled possessively around her waist as they waited for the valet to pull the car around, and it was only seconds after he’d gotten the keys that he’d herded her into the passenger seat and bound around to hop in the other side.

“Someone’s anxious to be home.” She teased.

He let his palm slide over the smooth skin of her thigh, his nails biting into the skin as he gripped it. “One day you’ll realize you’ve no business being with me. I’d like to have you as many times as I can before then.”

Jyn let her hand cover his, squeezing it lightly. “What makes you think I have no business being with you? I think I have a lot of business being with you. There’s a lot of sweet underneath, Sour Patch and I’m... well I’ve always had a sweet tooth.” She said with a wink.

He groaned. “Faster. I need to drive faster.”

Jyn couldn’t help but laugh, this lighter side of Cassian thrilling her, especially knowing she was probably the first to see it in years. He made the drive back to her apartment in record time, almost certainly having ran at least one red light and cutting another fairly close for comfort, not that she was complaining. 

He parked as carefully as his anxiousness would allow, trying and failing to seem calm when he strode around to collect her from her seat. She almost felt bad when she leaned into his ear, her whispered words only igniting him further. 

“I’m still wearing your favorite color.” She breathed.

His nostrils flared, all attempts at calm thrown to the wind as he tugged her hand to practically drag her up the stairs to her door. They were barely under the cover of the shadowed entrance when he pressed her into the door frame, gripping her hips roughly and covering her mouth with his. His tongue pressed insistently into her mouth, capturing her breathy sighs as her arms curled around his shoulders. 

“Open the door before I take you against it.” He murmured against her mouth.

She grinned coyly, pressing her hips to his. “That actually sounds pretty hot.”

“ _Mujer difícil._ ” He muttered, causing her to chuckle softly as she spun out of his embrace to unlock the door. 

He pulled her hair from her nape, pressing fevered kisses to her skin and making the task of getting the door open all the more difficult. She’d barely gotten it open when he pushed her inside, slamming it shut with his foot. 

“Bedroom?” He rasped. 

“Mm, I was thinking dessert first.” She crooned.

He gave her a confused look, and she pulled him with her into her kitchen, turning him so that his back hit the counter. She kissed up his jaw, the scruff there tickling her lips as she reached to undo his belt. She pulled it from the loops deftly, still blazing a trail over his jaw with her mouth. 

He groaned when she pulled his earlobe between her teeth, nibbling at it while she worked his jeans down his hips. She palmed his erection through the thin fabric of his underwear, letting her fingers trace its length as he thrust lightly into her hand. 

“Have you thought about my mouth on you?” She breathed. 

She hooked a finger into the band of his underwear, slowly pulling it away and freeing his straining cock. He shuddered when her finger traced around the head, her lips pressing firmly to the spot below his ear. 

“Hm?” She asked again.

He nodded slowly, his fingers tightening at her waist as a rush of air escaped him. She leaned to kiss his mouth, letting her lips fall softly on his for only a moment before sliding down the length of his body. She rested on her knees, gripping his cock in her hands and smiling demurely up at him. 

His eyes had turned so dark they seemed black and they were glued to her kneeling figure. She slowly grazed her tongue over the head, tasting the precum beaded there as Cassian hissed between his teeth. 

She pulled the head between her lips, swirling her tongue over it before pushing down on his length to take him deeper. His hands gripped the counter behind him, pushing into her mouth with a groan as she bobbed down on his cock. 

“ _Jyn_ ,” he rasped. “It’s too good— _no puedo_ —”

His fingers laced into her hair, roughly pulling her off him with a soft _pop_  and wrenching her upwards. He captured her lips, growling into her mouth. 

“Table. Now. Want to come inside you.” He ordered.

He pushed her backwards, her ass hitting the edge of the table just before he spun her quickly to bend her over the edge. He pushed her dress over her hips, sucking in a breath when he realized she wasn’t wearing anything underneath.

“You were like this all night?” He rasped, his finger tracing the seam of her exposed pussy. 

She nodded against the table, simpering back at him and moving her hips suggestively. He sunk two fingers inside her, curling them upwards into her heated arousal before pulling them out. 

“ _Mierda_ , you’re so wet.” He grit out, pulling at her hips to bring her closer to his rigid cock as he slowly pressed inside.

Her back arched as she pushed backwards onto his length, his hips falling flush with hers as he bottomed out. He leaned over her, pulling her hair aside to nibble at her neck as he thrust into her. The table shook beneath her, each rock of his hips pushing it against the wall with a clatter. 

“ _Cassian_.” She gasped. “I’m so close. I’m so fucking close.”

“Come, Jyn.” He urged, slamming into her with force. “I want to feel you come.”

She trembled beneath him, gripping the edge of the table as he stroked into her quivering insides. He rode through her orgasm, his breath erratic as he suddenly shot into her. He bit down into her shoulder, pushing into her warmth a final time as he emptied himself inside her. 

He soothed the bite with his tongue, moving up her neck and leaving a trail of hot kisses until he reached her ear. “I can’t seem to get enough of you.”

She beamed, turning to press a kiss to his mouth and he met it with fervor. He slid out of her before flipping her to her back, pulling her close.

“Stay the night.” She whispered. “You still haven’t seen my bedroom.”

He stared down at her, frowning slightly in thought and for a moment she feared he would say no. Had she pushed him too far? Maybe he wasn’t ready for that level of intimacy. She lay underneath him, holding her breath as she waited for him to answer.

He smiled finally, soft and wonderful and she couldn’t help but fall a little bit in love with his secret smile. 

“I would love to see your bedroom.” He  told her quietly.

Her cheeks hurt with her smile, and she could almost see the tiny pieces of his armor falling away. She ran a hand through his hair, pushing it away from his forehead and giving him a mock look of exasperation. “Well, I _guess_. Since you’re so _eager_.”

He shook his head, chuckling softly. “What am I going to do with you?”

She grinned wickedly up at him. “Well, I _am_ still wearing your favorite color.”

He hummed appreciatively. “Thanks for reminding me. I’ll need to see to that.”

She winked as he gathered her in his arms, carrying her in the direction she pointed to her bedroom. “Ah,” she giggled. “Bring it on, Sour Patch.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Well, someone has already guessed his backstory, which honestly astounded me. I guess we’ll just have see who it was. ;) You smart little cookies.


	5. Someday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Gorgeous moodboard by the literal best, [SageMcMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/works), whose enthusiasm for my nonsense gives me absolute life. <3

* * *

 

Cassian awoke to soft light of the morning sun streaming in through Jyn’s curtains. He glanced down to find her naked form sprawled over his chest, and he let his hand curl possessively around her hip as she stirred. He thought for a moment she might wake up, but she merely nuzzled closer to him as the soft sighs of sleep continued to escape her.

He pushed the tousled strands of her dark hair from her forehead, studying her face at rest. She was so strong awake but in sleep she looked soft, vulnerable even. He thought back to her admission of her past during their date, his brow knitting in thought. She’d led such a hard life, arguably having had a worse time of it than even _he_ had.

It almost made him feel guilty, not opening up to her when she’d presented the opportunity. He didn’t quite know what held him back, thinking it could only be the wall he’d erected around his heart that kept him a prisoner of his own emotions. Still... each day with Jyn he could feel the wall weakening, threatening to come down in the wake of her. 

“You’re staring at me.” She grinned suddenly, opening her eyes to peek up at him.

He smirked at having been caught, trailing his hand up the length of her spine. “How did you sleep?”

“Mm,” she purred. “I think you know I slept well.”

He couldn’t help the soft smile that formed, pressing a kiss into her hair. “I did too,” he admitted, his mouth pulling into a frown as he considered that. “The best I’ve slept in a long time actually.”

Jyn smiled coyly. “Orgasms are better than Ambien. See what you’ve been missing out on?”

He met her gaze evenly, her wide green eyes holding him captive. “I’m starting to.”

“No need to stop the party here,” she teased. “Want to grab breakfast?”

He mulled it over. “How about I cook for you instead?”

Jyn tucked her chin, her eyebrows pulling upwards. “You cook? Color me impressed.”

“Do you have anything here?” He pressed.

Jyn scoffed. “Yeah, that’s a no.”

He chuckled softly. “I’ll run to the store.”

Jyn rolled to her back, stretching lazily as a Cheshire grin pulled at her mouth. “I could get used to this kind of treatment.”

Her movement had caused the sheets to  slip downwards, and he couldn’t help but let his gaze rake over her bare skin. She caught his stare, moving to lay on her side as her chin rested on her fist. 

“Staring again, Sour Patch.” She chided playfully. 

“Can you blame me?” He asked lowly, his eyes barely taking a second to meet hers before continuing their perusal of her naked form. 

She grinned wider. “Go on now, I’m hungry. Feed me and we’ll explore that look in your eye.”

He swung his legs over the side of the bed, grabbing his pants from the floor and standing to step into them. Jyn stayed as she was, quietly watching him dress with that same soft grin on her face. 

He glanced at her as he buttoned his shirt, cocking an eyebrow. “Now who’s staring?”

She shrugged one shoulder. “Can you blame me?”

He shook his head, trying to stifle a grin of his own. He let his hands fall to the bed, leaning over the mattress to press a kiss to her mouth. “I’ll be right back.”

“You’d better.” She warned. “I’ll come after you.”

He couldn’t help it, he huffed out a laugh as he moved to stand again. “You know, I absolutely believe that.”

She winked at him. “You should. Now fetch me breakfast.”

He was still shaking his head as he left her apartment, unable to wipe the smile off his face for the first time in years.

* * *

 

“Care to tell me what you’re making over there?” Jyn wondered from her seat at the bar. 

“Frittata with Manchego.” He informed her.

She scrunched her nose. “Manchego?”

“Spanish cheese. You’ll like it.” He assured her.

“Well I _have_  seemed to find a new craving for all things Spanish lately...” she smirked.

He glanced at her over his shoulder, finding her biting her lip in amusement and he could only shake his head, something he seemed to do a lot around Jyn. 

When he’d plated their breakfast, he slid hers in front of her at the bar, moving around it to take a seat beside her. She took a large bite, humming appreciatively around her fork. 

“Okay, that _is_  good.” She praised.

He smirked. “Told you.”

“He cooks and he doles out orgasms. I may have to chain you to my bed.” She warned.

He chuckled. “You say it as if it were a joke, but I find myself believing it.”

She winked at him as she took another bite. “Probably a good idea.”

“So where did you learn to cook like this?” She asked between bites.

“My mother.” He informed her. “Although she’s much better than I.”

“Mm,” she moaned around her fork. “That’s hard to believe.”

They ate in comfortable silence for a short while, the only sounds in her tiny kitchen that of their forks scraping against the plate. It was Jyn who broke the silence first, finishing her food and turning to lean her chin on her fist as she regarded him. 

“So what did you go to college for?” She asked suddenly. 

He supposed he couldn’t blame her for wanting to know more about him, and was grateful at least she’d chosen a semi safe topic. 

“Marketing.” He clarified. 

“Interesting... and that got you in the event planning business?” She wondered.

He shrugged. “By accident. Originally I wanted to do media advertising, but landed myself in a job doing this type of PR work and event organizing and found myself liking it. I like seeing it all come together.”

She nodded thoughtfully. “You seem to be very good at it at least.”

“Thank you.” He answered gratefully. “It’s definitely interesting.”

“So,” she started somewhat carefully. “I heard it through the grapevine that you’ll be going overseas soon.”

He nodded, frowning slightly. “Yeah, we leave in a few of weeks.”

Her brow furrowed, her expression unsure for the first time since he’d known her. “Is it... weird to say I’ll miss you? That’s weird isn’t it? We barely know each other.”

He considered. “I don’t think it’s weird. I... I think I’ll miss you too.”

She perked up, biting back a grin and rising from the counter to clear their plates. It had been the first time he’d seen her so vulnerable, and he had to admit it did things to him. 

She dropped their plates into the sink, wheeling around to lean against the counter as she regarded him warily. “I want to say something, but I need you to not freak out.”

He tensed, unsure he could promise such a thing if his sudden nerves were any indication. He nodded slowly, waiting for her to say whatever she needed.

“I know I don’t know the whole story with whatever happened between you and your wife.” She started.

He immediately bristled, just skirting the issue enough to make his stomach roil. He kept quiet, trying not to let his inner turmoil show on his features as she continued.

She took a deep breath, releasing it slow. “I’m not even asking you to tell me everything. You can do that if and when you’re ready.”

She leaned then, resting her hands on the counter and looking him directly in the eye. “But Cassian, you need to know that her actions are hers alone. I know you think there’s nothing good out there for you, I can see it written all over you. I’ve known you for a handful of days and even _I_ can tell you’re more than deserving of love. Whatever she did to you... you didn’t deserve it.”

He sucked in a breath, his eyes casting to the surface of the counter as her words bounced around in his head. The darkest part of him immediately rejected everything she’d offered, deeming it untrue. A small part though, a part he thought he’d lost... wanted to believe her.

“Jyn, I—” he swallowed nervously. “I appreciate that. I do. It’s just... there are parts of me that are broken. So broken I don’t know if they can be put back together. _Mierda_ , I stopped trying years ago. How could I ask anyone to sift through that? Who could love a mess like me?”

She chewed on her bottom lip, her eyes fixed on him. When she spoke, her voice barely rose above a whisper. “I might be able to. Someday.”

His mouth fell open slightly, staring back at her as he tried to form a response. He found none, merely letting his mouth close once more as the silence between them stretched. His phone went off them, startling them from their standstill and he reached into his pocket to check it.

He huffed out a sigh, scrubbing a hand over his face and stuffing it back into his pocket. “The band’s manager has a PR meeting scheduled short notice and needs me to meet him.”

She nodded softly, her words still hanging between them heavily and he knew he should acknowledge them. He wanted to, wanted to tell her how elated they'd made him feel. Only... they terrified  him too. He was beyond scared that he could not be fixed, and that he would end up dragging Jyn down with him.

“I’ll call you later?” He offered.

Another nod, her face passive as she stood motionless on her side of the counter. He gave her a long look, still hating himself for not responding to what she’d said but too afraid to try. He walked around the bar, cupping her jaw in his hands and pressing his lips to hers softly. She met his kiss, her eyes closing as she leaned into him. 

When he stepped away, she still regarded him with that same bank expression that threatened to break his heart. He turned then, walking out the door before he was unable to. He hated himself more and more with every step that he took, knowing that remaining silent had been a coward’s play. He supposed that was fitting. After all, he was a coward.

Maybe Jyn deserved better. That was laughable. He _knew_ she did. Had he deluded himself in thinking he could be just that? The first opportunity she’d given him to open up and he’d practically ran away.

“ _I_ _might_ _be_ _able_ _to_. _Someday_.”

Her words still coursed through him, not knowing what terrified him more. The possibility of her loving him someday... or the idea that she never would.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>   
>  Sorry this took so long, and sorry it’s so much shorter than my normal chapters! I kind of got stuck, and didn’t know how to get from point A to point B in the way that I needed, and eventually decided a Cassian mini was the way to bridge the gap.  
> I _know_ that went from sappy to sad right quick and in a hurry, but Cassian’s a wounded little baby bird. He’s skittish.  
>  Don’t worry, this is short lived. I’ll try not to take so long for the next update. Curse plot bunnies and too many WIP’s!


	6. Tell Me You Missed Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tying two stories together is proving much harder than I thought. Fun anecdote, I KNEW I remembered mentioning Jyn staying up late on the phone. I KNEW it. Scoured forever, couldn’t find it. Turns out I added it in to the final upload of Like Red but never in my draft on my writing app. *face palm* Okay, maybe not so fun of an anecdote. Meh.

 

* * *

 Jyn watched Rey’s upside down figure disappear up the stairs, squealing from over Kylo’s shoulder as he carried her off.

“Those two,” Phasma snorted. “I wonder what will happen first? He’ll either knock her up or propose to her post sex like a wanker.”

Hux rolled his eyes. “Don’t rule out both. I wouldn’t put it passed him.”

Rose leaned over, nearing Jyn’s ear and giving her a pointed look. “Are you okay? You’re kind of quiet.”

Jyn waved her off. “I’m fine.”

“He never called, did he?” Rose frowned.

Jyn sighed. She wished she hadn’t spilled her love troubles like a simpering teenager. She didn’t know what had possessed her to confide in Rose, it was only that Cassian’s silence had gotten to her. She knew she’d pushed him too hard Sunday, being so open with him ending up being a complete disaster.

She finally shook her head, taking a sip of her drink. “No, he didn’t.”

“He’s an asshole.” Rose growled.

Jyn shrugged. “I don’t think so. He’s just... broken.”

Rose lay a hand on Jyn’s knee, furrowing her brow. “It’s not your job to fix him, you know that, right?”

Jyn nodded, her voice lowering to a whisper. “I know... but maybe I want it to be.”

Rose’s mouth fell open, obviously not used to Jyn being so, well, _soft_. Jyn wasn’t used to it either. What had Cassian done to her? She felt like an actual  _girl_. She wasn’t sure whether or not she liked it. Still, the door to her emotions had been opened and now she couldn’t figure out how to close it.

“What are you two whispering about?” Hux questioned.

Rose rolled her eyes. “None of your business.”

He threw up his hands with a look of mock offense, his mouth morphing into a sly grin. “No need to be rude, Tiny.”

“Just because I don’t want to stomp your balls anymore doesn’t mean I won’t maim you.” Rose threatened.

He scoffed. “Sure, Tiny. Sure.”

“I can’t tell if you two are friends again or not.” Phasma chuckled.

Hux shot a curious expression at Rose from the couch opposite her, his features flashing with a wounded look so briefly that Jyn almost didn’t catch it. Rose prattled on to Phasma, not noticing. Interesting. Seems the ginger might have still wanted to be a little more than just friends. Jyn decided to keep quiet; she had enough of her own relationship problems to deal with.

She didn’t know why she didn’t just reach out to Cassian herself. That was how she’d pulled him from his second guessing last time. She was just so afraid that she’d overstepped. Afraid that she’d pushed too hard, and much too soon.

She wasn’t even sure what had possessed her to say what she had. Cassian’s pain was just such a tangible thing, so heavy and alive between them that she felt it every time they were together. Thick like smoke, threatening to suffocate them both. 

The things he made her feel... they were heavy as well. In a different way. New, exciting, _terrifying_ , all of the things she’d never experienced. She’d never even wanted to. Until now. She realized she wanted... _something_ with Cassian. Of what she wasn’t sure. 

Why the fuck hadn’t he called her?

She took another long swig from her drink, her head already foggy with the few she’d already thrown back. She shook her head, the motion feeling as if she were underwater and she realized then just how drunk she’d gotten. 

“You alright, love?” Phasma asked, noticing Jyn rubbing at her eyes. 

Jyn nodded back at her. “I’m fine, I think I just had a little too much to drink.”

“You’re welcome to sod off and have a go at one of the guest rooms.” Phasma offered. 

Jyn rubbed at her eyes. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea.”

“I imagine our boy Kylo ducked into the first room at the top of the stairs so I would avoid _that_ one at all costs. Take a right at the landing and take the purple room at the end of the hall.” Phasma warned.

Jyn laughed. “Will do.”

She bid them goodnight, Rose too deep in some debate with Hux to barely register that she’d was leaving and Phasma and Mitaka giving her a wave and a promise they’d be off to bed soon. 

She climbed the stairs slowly, still pondering Cassian’s radio silence begrudgingly. In her drunken haze she found her melancholy bleeding into annoyance. Why should she be embarrassed about what she’d said? What’s as wrong with being honest? Cassian should be _thrilled_ that she might care about him.

So why did she feel so bad thinking that maybe he wasn’t?

Emotions. She missed not having any use for them. This hormonal womanly nonsense was for the birds. She found the bedroom Phasma had sent her to with only slight difficulty, stumbling through the door and navigating the dark space with all the grace of a drugged giraffe. 

Finally she flounced backwards on the bed, her eyes fluttering closed and her mind whirring with errant thoughts. She should just call him. Maybe he was waiting for her to. He was such a silly thing, Cassian. Always second guessing himself. Didn’t he know how hot he was? How sweet? She’d never met a man like him. 

She should tell him. Tell him how hot he was. That would make him feel better. Everyone liked hearing how nice looking they were. She could even tell him how much she enjoyed his cock if he apologized for giving her the silent treatment. He did have a really nice cock...

Yeah, she was going to call him. 

She pulled out her phone, stumbling through her contacts in search of his name. When she found it, she quickly sent a call through, putting the speaker to her ear and letting her eyes close as she waited. It only occurred to her just how late it was, and for a moment she worried that she might be waking him up.

Regardless, she heard his soft hello lilting through the speaker only moments later, his voice inflected with question as if he couldn’t quite believe she was calling him. 

“Jyn?” He asked.

“I really like your voice.” She slurred.

He was quiet for a moment, his answer finally sounding through the line and laced with slight amusement. “Do you?”

“I do. Why haven’t you called me?” She asked pathetically, her voice sounding every bit as needy as she felt.

He sucked in a breath, releasing it slowly as if thinking. “I didn’t know if you still wanted me to.”

Jyn sighed. “You’re really stupid sometimes.”

He barked out a laugh. “Yeah, I know. Jyn... are you drunk?”

She snorted. “So what if I am?”

“Are you somewhere safe?” He asked lowly.

She nodded, not occurring to her that he couldn’t see. 

“Jyn?” He pressed.

“Yes, yes, I’m at Phasma’s.” She assured him.

“Good.” He sighed. “I’m glad you called.”

“Are you?” She asked miserably. 

“Jyn... I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have been such a coward.” He offered quietly.

“Damn right you shouldn’t have.” She fired back. “I didn’t propose or anything. I just like you is all.” 

He laughed softly. “I like you too.”

“Good, now that _that’s_  settled. What are you wearing?” She grinned into the receiver, closing her eyes.

“Aren’t I supposed to be asking _you_ that?” He chuckled. 

“No, I called you. I get to be the seducer here.” She affirmed.

“So you’re trying to seduce me?” He teased.

“Always.” She assured him.

He hummed in approval, the sounds of him moving around on his side of the phone prominent as he seemed to settle in. “Well, maybe I’m not wearing anything.”

“Oh I _like_ that.” She praised. “I really like you out of clothes.”

“Oh do you?” He laughed.

“ _So_  much.” She babbled. “You’re so lean and strong and all that golden skin is just... edible.”

“Edible?” He asked incredulously.

“Edible.” She confirmed.

“That’s... interesting.” He mused.

She sighed heavily. “I wish you were here right now. I’m drunk and lonely.”

He cleared his throat, his voice low and breathy as he responded. “What would you do if I were?”

She perked up, thrilled that he was so into her little game. “You’re naked, right?”

“I am now.” He assured her.

“Mm,” she hummed. “Wait just a second.”

She threw the phone to the bed, running to the bedroom door to lock it and then stripping quickly before flouncing back on the comforter. “Okay,” she informed him. “Me too.”

A strangled cry was her response. “Seriously?”

“Duh. Were you not serious?” She chided.

“I thought we were playing a game.” He admitted.

She scoffed. “I don’t play games. Strip, Sour Patch.”

He was quiet for a second, finally muttering out a, “Hold on.” 

She heard him set the phone down, the conversation falling silent while she assumed he obliged. She was excited, her skin thrumming with both desire and the relief that she hadn’t lost him. When he returned, he was quiet, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Okay.” 

“Good,” she praised. “Now touch yourself.”

“Touch myself?” He parroted.

“Do it, just close your eyes and imagine it’s me.” She purred. “I would, if I were there. I’d wrap my hands around your cock and work you until you came all over my hand.”

“ _Dios_ _mio_ , Jyn.” He groaned. 

She let her hand slide down the length of her body, coming to rest between her legs as she let her fingers glide through her folds. “Or maybe I’d use my mouth,” she hummed, swirling her finger around the slick bud of her clit slowly. “Would you like that?”

He sucked in a breath, clearly affected by her words and she tried to imagine him touching himself as she instructed. She could see the lean muscle of his abdomen contracting as he worked his length languidly with his hand. 

“Tell me, Sour Patch.” She urged. “Would you like it if I used my mouth on you? Dragged my tongue down your cock before pulling you into my mouth?”

“ _Jyn_.” He gasped. “Yes, yes I would.”

“Maybe I will then. I don’t know though, you _did_  shut me out for three days.” She remarked torturously. “I don’t know if you deserve it.”

“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry.”

She could hear the sounds of his labored breath through the receiver, and she knew that he was touching himself as she’d asked. She grinned into the phone, swirling her fingers faster around her swollen clit to try and catch up to him. 

“Tell me you missed me, Sour Patch.” She demanded. “Tell me you’ve been a mess these last few days.”

“I did.” He admitted. “I have.”

“Fuck, I wish it were your hands on me.” She groaned, picking up her pace as her thighs clenched in anticipation. “I’m still wearing your favorite color.”

He grunted low then, a series of sharp breaths escaping him and she knew she’d pushed him over the edge. She worked herself thoroughly until she felt that tight heat coiling through her belly, her breath erratic and short as her orgasm shot through her with an all encompassing tremor. 

The pair of them lay quiet for moments after, catching their breath. She could hear Cassian’s soft breathing in the receiver, and again she found herself wishing he were there. 

“Drunk Jyn is a little terrifying.” He finally chuckled softly.

“Just wait till you get her in the sack.” She purred back.

He groaned. “You’ll be the death of me.”

She smiled, closing her eyes against the hazy fog of her buzz and sighing in content. “Did you really miss me?”

He was quiet for a handful of seconds, his voice low when he finally answered. “I really did.”

“You know that’s okay, right?” She assured him. “It’s okay to miss me.”

“Why are you so patient with me, Jyn?” He wondered. “Surely it has to be a headache.”

“Because you’re worth it, Sour Patch. Even if you don’t see it yet.” She replied assuredly. 

He cleared his throat, clearly wanting to protest but to his credit remaining silent. “But Cassian...” she started quietly, that unfamiliar vulnerability creeping through her chest. “Don’t do that again. When you feel overwhelmed, just talk to me. We’ll work through it together... but don’t shut me out.”

He sighed heavily, whispering his reply. “Okay.”

“Now go to sleep and dream about me.” She yawned, rolling to her stomach to grip her pillow. 

He laughed softly. “No problems there. I do that every night anyway.”

She grinned, knowing the feeling all too well. “Talk to you tomorrow?” She pressed. 

“Without a doubt.” He assured her.

“Goodnight, Sour Patch.” She breathed, her eyes heavy with sleep. 

“Goodnight, Jyn.” He replied quietly.

She hung up the phone, tossing it on the nightstand and feeling at peace for the first time in days. Everything would be fine. She would make sure of it.

* * *

Shuffling into the kitchen the next morning proved a difficult affair, the pounding in her head like a tiny person knocking at her skull. She slung herself into one of the wide backed chairs of the kitchen, yawning heavily and blinking wearily out at the others. 

“Morning, sunshine.” Kylo offered over his coffee mug, grinning at what she assumed was her less than polished state.

“Mmph.” Was all she could reply as she reached for a muffin from a tray at the center of the table. 

“Didn’t take you for one who couldn’t hold their liquor.” Kylo teased.

“Didn’t take you for one who didn’t know when to shut-up.” She bit back.

Kylo laughed loudly, setting down his cup and raising his hands in defeat. “Woah, someone is not a morning person.”

Rose grimaced as if she knew the fact all too well. “Hungover Jyn is always buckets of fun.”

Jyn rolled her eyes, looking around the table to find Rey missing. She shot Kylo a questioning look, and he hitched a thumb to the hallway and informed her Rey was in the bathroom. Jyn nodded, letting her head fall back against the chair as she chewed her muffin slowly. She cracked them open when she felt a tap at her shoulder, finding Phasma there with two pills in her open palm. 

“Here, take some aspirin. Get you right as rain, love.” She offered gently.

Jyn smiled gratefully, thanking her as she took the pills and downed them quickly before chasing it with a glass of orange juice Phasma had brought. 

“So I came by your room last night,” Rose started, leaning on her elbow and giving Jyn a smug grin. “Your door was locked and I could hear you talking to someone. Late night on the phone?”

Jyn peered at her through her lashes. “How long did you listen?”

Rose’s brow furrowed. “Not long, I’m not a creep.”

Jyn chuckled softly, shrugging her shoulders. “Ah, good. Wouldn’t want to give you a show.”

Kylo almost choked on his coffee, Phasma barking out a laugh as Rose’s mouth fell open. 

“ _Cassian_?” Kylo gasped in shock.

Jyn couldn’t help but grin at Kylo’s incredulous expression, sending a wink his way. “Told you he could teach you a thing or two.”

“Hey,” Kylo retorted indignantly. “I’ll have you know that Rey and I—”

The woman in question appeared then, placing a hand over Kylo’s mouth and pressing her lips to his temple as she stood behind him. “Finish that sentence and we might not do it again.”

He grinned wide, turning quickly and pulling Rey into his lap as she shrieked loudly. He peppered her jaw with loud, smacking kisses as she squealed in his grasp, her moment of having the upper hand thrown to the wind. 

“Still leaning towards nauseating.” Rose groaned.

Jyn laughed. “Na, those two are the picture of adorable.”

“Damn right we are.” Kylo beamed, finally releasing Rey and allowing her to take her seat beside him. 

“So,” Phasma cut in. “We’ve decided we’re going dancing Friday. You in?”

Jyn considered. “That sounds like a fabulous time actually.”

Phasma clapped her hands in delight. “Think you’ll be able to persuade our favorite grump to tag along?”

Jyn smiled wide, already pulling out her phone to send a persuasive text. “Oh,” she chuckled. “I think I’ll be able to get him to see it my way.”

“Do you think Cassian even knows how to dance?” Kylo wondered teasingly.

“Well if he dances like he—” Jyn started to reply, cut off quickly by a mortified Kylo.

“ _Never_ _mind_. Please do not finish that sentence.” He grimaced.

She flashed him a Cheshire grin, shrugging her shoulders as she stowed her phone away. She’d alluded that if Cassian would come along for the night she would be inclined to make it very worth his while, and she hoped that after last night he would be a little more open to the idea.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket shortly after, and she quickly pulled it out to see what he’d replied.

 

 

> **Cassian:** **Dancing?** **Hmm.** **That** **could** **be...** **interesting.** **I** **have** **conditions.**
> 
> **Jyn:** **What** **might** **those** **be?**
> 
> **Cassian:** **After...** **you** **come** **home** **with** **me,** **and** **you** **don’t** **leave** **all** **weekend.**  

She bit back a grin, trying not to seem to giddy over her phone like a fool as she responded.

 

 

> **Jyn:** **I** **think** **that** **could** **be** **arranged.**

He promised then to call her later for the details, having some errands to run that morning and she offered her goodbyes as she put her phone away once more. Hux had joined their table finally, and he and Rose had already fallen into some sort of playful argument that Jyn decided to tune out for the sake of her still pounding head. 

She smiled softly to herself, already excited for Friday to get here. Sour Patch on a dance floor... now that was a sight she couldn’t wait to see.


	7. More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place the night the Like Red gang visit the Canto Bight dance club. <3  
> Moodboard by one of my absolute favorite people, [SageMcMae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageMcMae/works)!  
> Thanks to Zombie_Queen for her help with Cassian’s Spanish this chapter! <3

* * *

 

“How did we luck out and get the car to ourselves anyway?” Jyn wondered idly as they pulled into the restaurant’s valet line.

Cassian’s mouth quirked into a grin. “I might have threatened Hux.”

Jyn raised an eyebrow. “What scares Hux?”

Cassian shook his head, offering a shrug. “A lot lately it seems.”

Jyn narrowed her eyes. “This doesn’t have anything to do with Rose, does it?”

Another sly grin. “Maybe.”

Jyn pumped a fist into the air as Cassian threw the car into park. “I _knew_ it. Think he’ll make a move?”

“Hux?” Cassian chuckled. “If ever there were someone who could compete with me in the art of being terrible at this… it would be Hux.”

“You’re not terrible at this,” she assured him.

He eyed her slowly, raking over the clinging red fabric that covered her and clearing his throat. “You look… incredible by the way.”

She grinned. “See? Not terrible at all.”

He squeezed her hand across the console before opening the driver’s side door, allowing the valet to take the keys before coming around to help Jyn out. The others were already moving to go inside, Jyn and Cassian following behind as they all entered the restaurant.

Phasma checked them in, the hostess quickly ushering them to a private table in the back and allowing them to seat themselves. She left them with the promise that their waiter would be with them shortly, and left them to it.

“So is anyone else still shocked Cassian decided to come dancing?” Hux smirked.

Kylo leaned on his fist, grinning. “It is a rather interesting turn of events.”

Cassian regarded them passively, turning to Hux curiously. “Oh, are we talking about interesting turn of events?”

Hux frowned, clearing his throat and turning away. “Where’s that waiter?”

Cassian smiled quietly to himself as Jyn squeezed his knee from underneath the table. The waiter came upon their table as Kylo was whispering something into Rey’s ear, Rey blushing even as she bit back a grin. God, they were adorable. The waiter greeted them warmly, taking down their drinks and promising to come back for their order shortly.

“So what _is_ going on with you two?” Phasma wondered. “Are your intentions for my Jyn pure my dear Cassian?”

Cassian huffed out a sigh, shaking his head. Jyn laughed, winking back at Phasma. “Hopefully not _too_ pure _.”_

Kylo covered his ears dramatically, grimacing. “It’s almost like hearing about your Dad’s sex life.”

Cassian scoffed. “Hardly. If you were my child maybe you wouldn’t have turned out so thick headed.”

Kylo barked out a laugh, the rest of the table following suit even as the waiter returned with their drinks. He took their food order, jotting it down on his notepad before leaving them again. Rose and Hux fell into a spirited debate about something or another, Rey chatting with Phasma about the baby as Kylo and Mitaka discussed tour plans.

Jyn learned to Cassian, taking advantage of the distracted table to whisper in his ear. She let her finger reach under the tablecloth to trail over the zipper of his pants, Cassian tensing. “So your place all weekend, huh? Any special plans?”

She let her fingers flatten over the front of his pants, seeing Cassian’s jaw tense. He blew out a breath, turning to look at her. “I can think of a few.”

She grinned, leaning to kiss him and lingering as Hux began to whistle teasingly. “Alright, save it for the bedroom we have to eat here.”

Jyn turned to smile at him coyly. “Is someone jealous?”

Hux rolled his eyes. “I swear you guys are no fun.”

The food came shortly after, and the rest of the meal was spent in pleasant chatter and discussions of the band’s upcoming tour. Jyn noticed how down the topic seemed to make Rey, and wondered if maybe Kylo had asked her to go. It would be such a huge leap for someone like Rey, but Jyn was rooting for the two of them. If they could make it despite all the things that would come against them in their very different lives, then maybe she could hold out hope that somehow she and Cassian would blossom into something more as well.

The idea of wanting more with him had settled deep inside her like a splinter that couldn’t be pulled out. She thought about it constantly, worrying about what she should say, if she should say anything at all, still terrified she might scare him off again… she knew the best approach with Cassian was to take things slow. Be _patient_. It was easier said than done.

Still, she knew with everything she was that if she could just hold out, he would be worth it. _They_ would be worth it.

It was only a matter of time.

* * *

 

“This place is incredibly loud,” Cassian half shouted into her ear.

They’d arrived at the club after having left the restaurant, pushing inside as a group and promptly scattering to check out varying parts of the establishment. Kylo had dragged Rey to the bar, a good call really because Rey was going to need a hell of a lot of liquid courage to work that dress, and the other two couples had worked their way out onto the dance floor. She could see Rose and Hux doing some sort of God awful routine, and she actually laughed at their antics. One day those two were going to be in for a rude awakening when they realized how perfect they were for each other.

She turned to Cassian, tugging on his hand and jerking her head towards the dance floor. “You going to show me what you’ve got?”

He quirked an eyebrow. “What makes you think I can dance?”

She pressed up against him, trailing a finger over the buttons of his shirt. “Anyone that moves like you do in a bedroom _has_ to move pretty damn well on the floor.”

He grinned, letting his hand snake around her waist and pulling her closer. “You think so?”

“I have a hunch,” she simpered.

He pulled her into the crowd, the thumping music turning darker, more sensual. Sliding a hand over the tight fabric of her dress, he cupped her ass to bend her to him. He clasped her hand in his other, grinding against her with a finesse that only came from natural rhythm. He spun her when the music quickened, molding her to his front and letting his finger trail down the length of her sides.

She’d been right about one thing— Cassian could _move._

She felt his lips at her collar, brushing against the exposed skin even as his hips ground into her from behind. She closed her eyes, focusing on the feel of him pressed against her. When she opened them, she caught sight of Kylo and Rey across the floor, grinning to herself when she realized that she and Cassian weren’t the only ones lost in one another. She didn’t have time to linger on them though as Cassian spun her to face him again, pulling her in to kiss her in a way that was far less than appropriate for their setting.

Songs blended into one another, paces and tempos changing but the pair of them remaining just as they were, never ceasing the way they moved against one another. She felt her hair clinging to her temples, sweat gathering at her brow, but in those moments she found she didn’t care.

The room might have been filled with people, but to her it was only _them._

He leaned in, his lips brushing against her ear and eliciting a shiver across her flushed skin. “I would really like to take you home.”

“Someone’s impatient,” she laughed.

“It’s been almost a week since I’ve seen you naked,” he all but growled.

“You don’t like my dress?” she teased.

“I love your dress,” he clarified, “but when I know what’s underneath…”

She gave him a wide grin, winding her arms around his neck and swaying to the music. The song had slowed, a sharp contrast to the pounding rhythms that had played for most of the night. He held her close, his forehead resting against hers and his fingers clinging to her hips.

Dancing like that… it felt different. Felt too much like _more._ She found herself never wanting it to stop.

She barely noticed when the song ended, only pulled from her thoughts when she felt his finger tilt up her chin. His lips met hers with a softness that felt like a promise, and for a moment everything stilled.

Slowly sounds returned, lights came back into focus, and she remembered where they were. He smiled at her as he pulled away, and she thought then that she might do anything for that smile. Cassian should always smile.

She noticed Rey and Kylo approaching them then, Rey’s eyes red with some emotion but painting a smile on her face all the same. Jyn decided now was not the time to press her, instead teasing her about her and Kylo’s dirty dancing and finding herself relieved when Rey giggled in response.

The rest of their group convened then, Rose complaining about being too hot and saying they should hang at the bar for awhile. Cassian frowned, giving Jyn a stern look before leaning into her ear.

“How badly do you want to stay?” he wondered.

She grinned, turning to answer. “I could probably be persuaded to leave early.”

“Good. I need to get you out of that dress,” he murmured into her ear.

“Mm,” she affirmed, “then take me home, Sour Patch.”

* * *

Cassian’s apartment was almost just as she expected, all dark furniture and clean lines and devoid of any type of warmth or personal effects. It made her sad really, and she wondered if he felt lonely here when he was all alone.

He dropped his keys on a sofa table, turning on her and waving across the space. “So this is my place.”

“It’s… clean,” she remarked teasingly.

He chuckled. “It’s boring.”

“I think it just needs a little color,” she laughed.

“Hm,” he replied, tapping a finger to his chin as he stepped towards her. “Maybe a little blue?”

She pulled him in by his belt loops, biting back a grin. “Maybe if you ask nicely…”

He began to pull her backwards, guiding her to what she assumed was his bedroom. She followed after him, stopping when she glanced at a particular photo that caught her eye on the sofa table.

She halted, Cassian’s hand sliding out of her grip as she took a step towards it. She picked up the frame,  taking in the dark haired little boy with eyes that reminded her of Cassian’s. She glanced at him, finding him watching her warily as she turned the picture towards him.

“Who is this?” she asked, even already guessing the answer.

“He was… he was my son,” Cassian replied quietly.

“Was?” Jyn pressed, her chest tight with emotion as she watched the pained expression take over his face.

“He’s gone now,” he murmured.

She sat the photo down slowly, taking a cautious step towards him and wrapping her arms around his middle. He stood rigid in her hold for a few moments, several seconds passing before she felt his arms encircle her to pull her close.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“It was a long time ago,” he answered. “There’s no reason for you to be sorry.”

“I still am,” she mourned.

He held her tighter, his face burying in her neck and she felt his hands shaking as they gripped at the fabric of her dress. She felt pain rolling off him in waves, and she wanted to take it from him, to save him from it in the only way she knew how. She pushed away, gazing up into his haunted eyes before leaning on her toes to kiss him. His eyes fluttered closed as he pressed deeper into her mouth, is hands sliding up the length of her body to tangle in her hair.

“Let me take the hurt away,” she murmured against his lips.

He groaned softly, pulling her backwards as his mouth never left hers. She registered him pushing through a door, entering his bedroom and pulling her to the large bed at its center. His legs hit the edge, his mouth still moving over hers as she began to undo the buttons of his shirt. She unfastened them quickly, sliding her hands underneath to slide over the taut muscle underneath.

She felt his hands sliding over her shoulders and trailing over her hips to grip at the hem of her dress. He broke away for a moment, pulling the garment over her head and tossing it aside to leave her in only her bra and panties.

His eyes raked over her body reverently, blowing out a heavy breath. “ _Eres hermosa_.”

“I might could take a guess at that one,” she laughed softly.

He shook his head, pulling her closer. “You’re beautiful. Every part of you.”

She sighed as his lips found hers again, her fingers moving to the button at his dark jeans to unfasten them. She pushed them over his hips, palming his hardening length through his underwear and tracing the shape of him with her fingers. His palms cupped her ass, kneading the soft flesh as she pulled at his underwear.

She pulled his cock free, working his erection with both hands and he groaned loudly. She loved the way the velvet skin slid over hard flesh beneath her palms, and he rut into her fists as his fingers gripped at her ass to hold her against him. He finally pushed her hands away, breathing heavily and shaking his head.

“Inside you,” he grated. “Want to be inside you.”

She grinned, reaching behind her to unclasp her bra and watching his reaction as she pulled the straps from her shoulders before pulling it off and dropping it to the floor. He immediately ducked to wrap his lips around her nipple, sucking at it roughly as her hands wound into his hair. His fingers pulled at her underwear, tugging them over her hips as she shimmied out of them. He pushed at his own pants as well, dropping them and his underwear to his feet as his tongue still laved over the hard bud of her nipple.

He released her nipple as he hoisted her upwards, turning to throw her down on his bed and crawling over her. He rose to his knees to pull his shirt from his shoulders, the action causing his abdomen to tighten and she couldn’t help but run her fingers over the hard muscle there. Finally nothing between them, he covered her with his weight, his fingers seeking her entrance and he hummed when he found her wet for him.

He wasted no time, grasping his cock in his hand and guiding it to her entrance to press inside. She clung to his shoulders as he dipped into her, Cassian holding her tight as he lost himself inside her inch by inch. Her leg curled around him as his hips went flush with hers, huffing out a breath as her ankles hooked at his waist to hold him tight.

“ _Te quiero muchísimo,”_ he rasped _, “eres muy importante para mí.”_

She had no idea what he’d said, but she felt it in every part of her. She knew whatever it was she felt the same. He began to move, his cock sliding against her inner walls slowly and she felt every inch of him as he began a steady rhythm. His lips were bruising against her skin, his kiss so heavy she thought he might leave marks and in that moment she found she didn’t mind in the slightest.

His movements were tortuously slow, every drag of his thick length through her slick folds like a sweet torture that had her gasping for breath. How many times had she fucked Cassian now? What they were doing then, it was something different. Something _more._

He reached between them, his fingers toying with the piercing he was so obsessed with and pressing into her clit to run slow circles. His fingers worked in tandem with his cock, each push followed by a slow swipe and she was left helpless to his attention.

“ _Cassian,_ ” she mewled.

“Come,” he urged, his lips at her throat as his fingers increased their tempo. “ _Come_ , Jyn.”

Her mouth fell open in a silent cry as she clenched around him, her muscles fluttering around his cock and her nails digging into the hard muscle of his shoulders. He grunted as he clutched at her hips, rolling into her slick heat with more force.

He tensed as he spilled into her, a low moan escaping him as his lips moved over her skin. She held him as close as he could possibly be, clinging to him as if letting him go meant the end of all things.

In some ways… it did.

He fell asleep in her arms that night, Jyn lying awake and slowing running her fingers through his hair as she studied his sleeping face. In sleep the lines that creased his brow were smoothed, his peaceful expression making him look almost like another person entirely. She wanted him to always be this peaceful. She knew just being with him was helping him, bringing him back from some state of emotional death that he’d dwelled in for far too long.

Her mind drifted to the little boy in the picture frame, and she wondered how he’d lost him. She knew asking would only bring him pain, and she was content to wait until he wanted to talk about it. Whatever had happened had changed him, turned him into a shell of his former self.

Jyn promised herself that no matter how long it took, no matter what she had to do, she would bring Cassian back. She would save him from himself. Cassian deserved that… and so did she.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kylotrashforever)!  
> I made a [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/KTF_Reylo), come follow me!  
> [Everything Is Blue Soundtrack](https://open.spotify.com/user/1288719735/playlist/1R40OR79UOdJG5ECGowS99?si=55QaF1adS1WBg4waAT3YBA)


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